Pasty Muncher

Wurzels Scandal - Ant and Dec branded "Dirty Pair"

Source: Kim Mutton
Friday 4th July 2008, 5:14pm

The lovely straw chewin' Wurzles fight more scandal allegations following Ant and Dec's Dirty Pair outrageous exploits.

Devon Pasty Munchers were delighted to hear that once again the Wurzels would be playing live during the summer. Only a few months since the Wurzels played a gig in Exeter the South West's finest beet combo are back in the county ready to blow the roof off Exmouth Pavillions.

The concert comes as some releif following the past few turbulentmonths which have seen allegations about the Wurzels range from them not drinking real cider during their act, their smocks being hand made in far east sweatshops and the appalling story about meeting a fake fan after being set up on Ant and Decs "Dirty Pair on Saturday Night"

Ant and Dec - Dirty Pair

Some might say that the accustion that Ant and Dec are a dirty pair of broadcasters is unfair however a report in the Daily Mail suggestes that with their history of deception and duping viewers with extortion methods such as bogus competitions and premium rate phone in scams the lable Dirty Pair is a no nonsense representation.

Deloitte found that the Dirty Pair's Takeaway was one of three shows which conned viewers out of £7.8million in premium-rate phone charges through rigged competition.

Recruitment of a fake fan

Well we've heard of fake tan but a fake fan?? It appears that the hilarious spoof of Jim'll Fix It was to arrange for a fan's dream to come true - meet the legendary Wurzels on live tv and crack the classic "arr the missus she likes a nice bit of pork in cider" gag.

However when the ungrateful and down right rude fan failed to turn up the tv show production team was in a spin - until "somebody" suggested they recruit "another fan" at the last minute. This bogus fan had recently worked with the Wurzels and was no stranger to the cow-muck singalongs they perform, nor did he mind being squashed between the Dirty Pair during the show.

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Warrens on Wiki

Source: Kim Mutton
Friday 20th June 2008, 5:26pm

Warrens pasties - guest review

On the same day Warrens Wikipedia page and a new image added the Muncher received a guest review of a Warrens Medium Cornish Pasty

As discussed here the Warrens have begun to up the ante with flash new shops and bistro style outdoor eating areas however it didn't stop our intrepid (too busy to sit) reporter from grabbing a take away.

This is what she had to say:

Proper Job

Shop wasnt busy as it was after two, was served straight away and the bag did its job kept the pasty warm and out of the rain

Medium Cornish Pasty: served nice and hot, good golden brown colour. Generous filling with a good ratio of meat and vegetables. A bit on the salty side but still thoroughly enjoyable.

Too Much Salt for her taste

This is a recurring criticism of many take away foods and unacceptable - if in doubt - spit it out - if you're sure - munch some more.

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Nasty Pasty - worse than Ginsters!!

Source: Kim Mutton
Tuesday 10th June 2008, 1:27pm

Oh My

Nasty pasty

This subject cought my eye over on yahoo Answers “I’ve accidentally eaten a Ginsters pasty- who should I phone?” and following a chance mid morning snack down G'Exeter Quayside I felt compelled to ask my own - Can you get worse than Ginsters?

Quayside - Mid Morning??

The Londis shop at the Quayside happens to be one of the four Homebrew Stockist in the whole of the South West. It is also one of the few places that you can buy Tartaric or Citric Acid over the counter so after the fourth time the work computers didn't I took off to make my purchase.

Whats the Crack??

The Assistant in Boots "dear" told me that they no longer sell it at the pharmacy as it could be used to cook up crack - hmm but its still on sale online and at homebreww shops...

Elderflower Champagne

Tartaric or Citric Acid is used to heighten tang and help preserve country brews such as elderflower champagne and cordials thus necessitating the trip to Londis.

I remarked to the store manager how the site of rows of homebrew kits took me back to my own brewing days and thought aloud that I should check my bins and barrels to see if they were stil fit for purpose. The helpful chat made a smart gesture and bunged me a tub of sterilising solution powder to spruce up the old equipment in the hope that I'll return and become a regular customer.

In recognition of this gesture I stopped by the Bake & Bite counter at the other end of the Londis shop and got a made to order green Thai Chicken salad baguetter along with a medium Cornish Pasty from the Hot Counter.

Maybe it was just too early and or too hot but I sat facing an audience of mallards, swans and pigeons and munched away. I am sad to report that it was a greasy guey blobby nasty pasty.

Munch on!

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Cornish Pasty Overlooked in Latest Blog Scandal

Source: Kim Mutton
Wednesday 4th June 2008, 5:24pm

I was heart broken to read....

....that a recent review of food in Cornwall had no mention of the wonderful Pasty that I have strived to promote over the last year.

How a pub grub plate of egg and chips can be worthy of note is beyond me but as Bertie Bassatt says - "it takes all sorts"

Think Global - Drink Local

Good choice of Beer though "Doom" is a traditional ale brewed locally althought at two quid a botlle - thanks to crazy supermarket pricing it won't be flying off the shelf - especially if the local shops increase the ranges of wonderful cheap yet worryingly strong beers to quench the thirst of our valued work force.

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Did you hear about the bomb in Exeter?

Source: Kim Mutton
Friday 23rd May 2008, 4:19pm

It hadn't even blown the bloomin' door off, which is the least you'd expect for some kind of terror attack. It wasn't us claim the Pasty Liberation Front.

Capital City of Devon - Exeter - was rocked to its very foundations when a "device" went off in Giraffe.

Shops and businesses had an unexpected half day closing following a mental health service user's mis hap with some chemicals and a couple of nails in the toilets of fat-food outlet Giraffe at the edge of the city's new Princesshay development.

Amidst the initial confusion reports were of fatalities and heavy casualties as the "mega balst" rocked the city centre.

The Pasty Liberation Front - one of whoms members iworks in offices on Southernhay adjacent to Giraffe - was quick to deny any invlovement with the organisation adding to its statement "we were a little puzzled that we didn't hear a peep at the time of the "explosion" yet watching the news pasty munching members of the public were claiming really loud bangs were heard as far away as the Odeon Cinema".

Dirty Tricks - not our style

"It is an obvious assumption that we would be looking to stop this sort of non-pasty fast food business but letting off fireworks in toilet cubuicles is definately not our style. We cannot condone the actions of this "bomber" although we may have shed the odd crocodile tear"

Reports on This Isn't Exeter are more blunt: "It hadn't even blown the bloody door off, which is the least you'd expect for some kind of terror attack"

Bomb Squad Land Rovers still on patrol

Frivolity aside it is still a stark reminder that "it could happen" and the sight of an increased police presence in the city centre is un-nerving.

And the old joke about "does my bomb look big in this" isn't the same round these parts.

Basil Brush simply commented "Boom Boom"

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