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The Running Race

Blog: Norfolk Single Dad
Posted by: Eddie2sox Sunday 7th October 2007, 9:25am
Last edited 07/10/2007 9:25am by Eddie2sox

This is a blow by blow account of the race that some of Sam's toys took part in yesterday. If you're not up to speed with Sam's motley crew, you'd be better off skipping this particular blog.

Picture the scene. The grid is full. There’s an air of tension and anticipation concerning what is going to happen in the next few minutes. You can hear the old BBC Grand Prix theme music……dummmmmmm, der der dum, der der der der der dummmmmmmm……..

The line-up on the grid is as follows:

Row 1 : Sir Whiteshield, Sir Axealot

2 : Skeleton Stanley, Arrr Two Choppers

3 : Snakeboy, Greenie

4 : Sir Trumpalot, Arrr One Chopper

5 : Red Power Ranger, Lookout

6 : Cap’n Blue, Whiteface

7 : Spud The Scarecrow, Metalpants

8 : Sir Sillyhelmet, Sir Chopalot

9 : Bob The Builder, Michelangelo

10 : Puss In Boots, Minotaur

11 : Sir Castlelot, Tom

12 : Bob The Builder (!), Doot De Doo

This is no car race, this is the first ever running race for the various characters who inhabit Samworld. And so…..Sam started singing his wayward version of the On The Buses theme tune (like they do at banger racing you know), he did a countdown, and they were OFF!

The race immediately took a turn for the worse, as Sir Chopalot jumped on a parked motorbike in the day’s first blatant cheating attempt. Sadly, being used to one horse power not 50, he was soon out of control and crashed, but not before running over poor old Cap’n Blue’s foot, ouch me hearties. Sir Trumpalot made a break for the front using his infamous jet-propelled fart power, while Red Power Ranger had got hold of a bucket and was attempting to nobble his opponents with a swift blow to the back of the skull. Only Arrr Two Choppers was caught, but he was definitely out of the race. The final incident saw Spud The Scarecrow jumping on Scrambler the quad bike and crashing head-on into a wall, at which point the judges stopped the race and told everyone to start again, and BEHAVE!

And so to the restart. If we hoped the skulduggery, gamesmanship, and downright bad form from the first race would be eliminated we were wrong, so very, very wrong. As soon as they set off again Chopalot AGAIN mounted the motorbike, and AGAIN crashed it, this time into the castle wall, causing no injuries but completely wrecking the bike AND dislodging one of Robin’s carefully grown hanging baskets from inside the dungeon (Robin, as in Batman’s sidekick, is the cleaner in the castle dungeons, how the mighty have fallen). Sir Axealot had the brilliant idea of jumping on the Minotaur’s shoulders for a piggyback, as the Minotaur is big and dumb enough not to notice - and soon they were heading out in the lead. The devious Metalpants discovered the Catapult under the castle walls and started bombarding the passing runners - wildly inaccurately. In fact the only competitor he managed to hit was the unlucky Cap’n Blue, who added a cannonball on the right foot to the motorbike on the left foot from the first race, and fell over at the side of the track singing “Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest”. Skeleton Stanley discovered that having no muscle attached to his bones was not conducive to a running race, tripped over Cap’n Blue, and was also out of the race. Bizarrely, Bob The Builder and his brother Tom were spotted dancing together at the back of the field. Seeing the fun below him from his vantage point high in the castle, Kung Fu Action Man decided to join the race, not running but flying! Farmer Pickles had also joined in, but soon gave up after only half a lap, and the throwaway comment “And Farmer Pickles is having a snooze” caused a temporary break while Sam and me rolled on the floor laughing.

What would Murray Walker make of THAT lot?

So back on track, and Metalpants, Sir Trumpalot, Sir Whiteshield and Greenie stole a building lorry to try to get in the lead. Red Power Ranger was still trying to “bucket” as many people as he could, but came unstuck - or rather got stuck - with on foot on each bank of the river, in a painful looking splits position. Puss In Boots was found cat-napping on the drawbridge. Orange Action Man had also joined in by now as the leaders entered the home straight. At the back, Bob The Builder, Sir Sillyhelmet, Lookout, Greenie, Arrr One Chopper and Michelangelo had given up and were playing football, until Spud the Scarecrow ate the ball. The race ended with most of the runners having given up, or been injured. And Farmer Pickles is still having a snooze.

The one, two, three, four was Orange Action Man, Kung Fu Action Man, Red Power Ranger, Sir Chopalot. The pic is really gloomy, sorry, I’m still getting used to the new phone. But it shows, if you want to go into detail, Sir Axealot piggybacking Minotaur (top), Metalpants using the catapult (top right), Cap’n Blue lying down (left), and Bob and Tom dancing. Plus lots of the others.

What a race!

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