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Scottish George - A Denial!

Blog: Norfolk Single Dad
Posted by: Eddie2sox Wednesday 6th June 2007, 12:25pm
Last edited 06/06/2007 12:25pm by Eddie2sox

As official legal representation for Scottish George, I have decided to issue the following statement on his behalf....

On the evening of 5 June 2007, a bollard was uprooted at the junction of Gaywood Road and Tennyson Avenue. Scottish George was not involved in this incident in any way. He was at home all night, alone, and you can't prove otherwise.

Previously George has been accused of molesting this very same bollard, wrestling it to the ground and "making sweet love" to it, which certain curtain-twitching local inhabitants reported to Norfolk Police. There were also, allegedly, nine eye witnesses, but we can discount these individuals as they were all either drunk, female, or Scottish, in some cases more than one on these things. Any of those traits make their testimony under English law unsafe.

I personally carried out DNA testing on the bollard this morning, and found evidence of close to 40 breeds of dog, two cats and a hedgehog. Not a single DNA Profile matched the one provided to me by Scottish George, in that tissue. George freely acknowledges that while he may be a bit of a wolf, he is definitely no dog.

Finally, before unfounded accusations regarding this matter begin to be thrown at my client, please remember - his lawyer is watching!

(Scottish, usual mates' rates apply).

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