Sam's Fire Station

Sam saved up for ages and eventually chose a Lego fire station, which then got lost in transit. Today it finally arrived, sparking a great deal of excitement. Today was also Sam's first day at school so it's been full-on excitement all day for the little lad, no wonder he is now zonked out in bed, snoring slightly.

Tomorrow we are going to see his Nana and Grandad in Sleaford. My Dad is really poorly at the moment, he has cancer and severe heart problems. Last November doctors told us our Dad might not see this Christmas, and it now might be true, I hope not. He did have something of a recovery for a while but he's now not eating again and is under 7 stone in weight. It must be terrifying for him and for my Mum too. So tomorrow we're heading up to see them, and I went to Tesco today to buy a selection of tempting food that will hopefully prove irresistible.

I am so full of huge emotions at the moment, and finding it tough to be them inside. Tonight I sat next to Sam's bed as he was falling asleep and started crying for no reason, and it's not the first time in the last couple of weeks. I guess I am pretty scared about losing Dad, worried about finances without a full time job, worried about the future in terms of ever owning my own property, fed up with myself for not caring about my own health enough. My friend's suicide was a big knock too, plus my friend's wife who died in a car crash, so many of the good people seem to be disappearing out of my life all the time. I think the only positive thing in my life is my amazing son.

So, back to the fire station. The alarm is set for 6 a.m. tomorrow, I predict the fire station will be in use before 6.01! I might even let Sam have a go.

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