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Riot Van

Blog: Norfolk Single Dad
Posted by: Eddie2sox Thursday 7th June 2007, 10:24pm
Last edited 07/06/2007 10:24pm by Eddie2sox

Following on from the last entry, an amusing little tale of small town shenanigans. Fact or fiction?

For people who say that "things are worse these days", well you're wrong. When you talk about chavs causing trouble these days, a few years ago it was people like me who you would possibly hear called "casuals". A hundred years ago it was rowdies or hooligans. It's the same situation but a different label.

I just want to recall a story that I was told. Picture the scene. Christmas Eve 1989 or 1990. A busy pub in a Lincolnshire market town. 7 or 8 at night. There's a bunch of mates who have been out together all day, and they're a bit loud. Daily Mail readers would call them a gang or a mob. But these young lads are just a group of local football fans who follow Leeds United all over the country, despite the fact that Leeds United are rubbish.

The lads are singing, loudly, Leeds songs. Other pub locals are singing Christmas songs and there is a very friendly exchange of banter between the groups - after all they are friends/neighbours/relatives. The landlady approaches and tells the boys to shut up. Hmmmm.......

*note. The new landlord and landlady have only been at the pub for a few weeks, after a previous much-loved landlord (Trev) had been thrown out*

Why?

Because you're singing.

So are they.

They're singing Christmas songs.

This was the cue for the very same Leeds United songs to be sung but with Santa in the place of the word Leeds. Very seasonal.

Landlady approaches again.

Shut up.

What now?

You're singing.

At this point things went wrong. The landlady went to pour Stan's pint onto the floor. Stan obviously didn't want that to happen, and next thing the nearly full pint was all over the landlady. And then? Mayhem.

Landlady started attacking Stan. Some of the other members of the group - already fed up due to the change of landlord - decided to take a little revenge. Fruit machines hit the deck, optics smashed, phone lines were ripped out. Mass exodus by the other customers. One member of the group chased the landlord's gay son round the bar, but legged it when said gay son produced a huge knife from under the bar, Windows broke. Glasses flew.

Sirens.

People tried to stroll nonchalantly out and away but the police picked them up and chucked them into the back of the van. One, two, three, four, five, six.......phew, one less than they could use to press the charge of Riot. Doh. Numbnuts Gilly walked up to the van and got in voluntarily despite the "get lost Gilly" hisses. Off to the nick, nee nah nee nah, police making the most of their prize.

The point of this little story is that people think that "things" are getting worse all the time. They're not, they just get more publicity. Was this a real incident? Not saying yes or no.

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