English Sport Freefall

I had hopes that the cricketers would make the semi-finals of the 20/20 World Cup, but they were blown away by everyone they played in the Super Eights stage. Back to the drawing board (note to players, slog it like a baseball player).

The football team has lost it's goal-scoring lucky charm, again. Michael Owen has tweaked a toenail and will miss the next two Euro 2008 qualifiers. Heskey is injured too, so who will play up front? Rooney and Ashton, I bet the Russians are terrified.

English tennis "great" Tim Henman has gone out on a low, raising the issue of players taking bribes to throw matches. ""I personally have never experienced it but, listening to the players talking, it seems it goes on" he bleated, unconvincingly. Well, he's loaded and never won anything, so draw your own conclusions!

And finally, the rugby team. Apparently there has never been a worse team trying to defend a world title, in any sport. The reason being? The balls are too new at the start of the game, oh yes you read that right! Conveniently forgetting that both teams play with the same "too new" balls, and also forgetting that the idea is not to spend the whole game kicking it, but to chuck it to each other and plonk it - by hand - in the other team's "end zone". Their last game is a sudden death chance to make it to the next round against a team from Tonga, population 100,000. And what part of France are Edinburgh and Cardiff in? Doh!

Still wouldn't rather be anything but 100% English though.

Picture shows England superstar Jimmy Watkinson snapping another hamstring after 17 seconds on the pitch.

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