Home > Blogs > Norfolk Single Dad > Permalink

Dragons Den II - The Auto Lez 3000

Blog: Norfolk Single Dad
Posted by: Eddie2sox Monday 21st May 2007, 4:40pm

After the failure of our Lemon Pants pitch, we're back with another storming idea!

Welcome to the Auto Lez 3000.

This is NOTHING to do with our lovely gay barmaid Little Miss Lemon by the way.

However, for an initial outlay of £75,000 you can have 25% of future profits. So, what is the product.....

Picture the scene....it's dinner time in the local....just a couple of punters nursing a pint in the corners....bloke walks in looking for a game of pool. Nobody to play, dammit! So he leaves to seek out opponents in other pubs, and spend his cash there too.....you, Mister Landlord, are losing out.

Introducing the Auto Lez 3000, the world's first virtual pool opponent! Based on real life character Les The Duck from The Woolpack, this machine will maximise your lone pool player revenue!

The real Les plays pool complete with a running commentary, which stretches to approximately seven phrases. The Auto Lez 3000 will scan the solo player's game and insert relevant phrases to make the punter think he has a genuine opponent!

Phrases like "I wouldn't have gone that way myself" and the original Les duck-laugh "quack-quack-quack" will persuade your customer to keep playing to try to beat their new bessie mate!

If, however, your pub is a little more "insular" and Essex accents may not be accepted, regional variations of the Auto Lez 300 are available, as follows:

Cockney: Auto Lez/Frank Butcher Edition "Pat, Paat, you ought to clean up from here Paaaaaaaaaat!"

Scouse: Auto Lez/Barry Grant From Brookside Edition "Eh, eh, eh, I've seen nothing here to frighten me yet, eh, caaaaaaalm down!"

Geordie: Auto Lez/Jimmy Nail Edition "Why aye pet, I've seen these rattle........Josh, Dad's found your scootah!"

So for all you rich businessmen who write or read here......deal or no deal?

Comments

Want to comment on this blog entry? Blog Entry Discussion (0 comments)

Spread the Word

Flag as inappropriate
If you believe the content of this blog post is inappropriate and should be reviewed.

More posts from this blog...