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Home > Blogs > Norfolk Single Dad > Posted in December 2007 Norfolk Single DadPosted in December 2007A slice of English life in all its glory, through the eyes of a 39 year-old single dad and his amazing 4 year-old son.... If You Can't Say Something Nice.....
Source: Eddie2sox Last night some old pals really upset me.... Having a pint or three in't Woolpack, and I have to say I was merry!
Some pals came in. And started taking the **** out of me! I was pretty surprised. It was disturbing because I have had a lot of time for them before now. Better not mention their names.
So, Sean, Cathy, Theresa and her 70's hair-do boyfriend decided to take the **** out of me, I have no idea why. I can only think it's because of their misuse of substances. Cocaine being the favourite one.
That was obviously a long time ago, and there is no suggestion that any of them had been using drugs yesterday.
However. How sad that people you like to think of as friends think it's fun to ridicule you. Not nice.
To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink above Happy New Year To Me! And You Too, I Guess.....
Source: Eddie2sox I just got a lovely message that has made me feel all warm and fuzzy.... It's from a girlie friend, and made me come over all "awwwwwwwww"-ish.
All it says is "Happy New Year to my super hero, hope 2008 is a good one for you and Sam. Love always, J x"
How superb is that! Luv ya right back J.
Also had a phone call from a treasured mate from Samaritans, and we both deserve a better year ahead. Good luck with the fishing mate, get that smoker into action as soon as possible!
Anyway, all that sentimental stuff out the way, I want to wish everyone who reads this blog a VERY Happy New Year in 2008. Here's to better health, less bereavements, more lottery wins, and lots of smiles.
We love you!
Simon & Sam xxxxx To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveNorfolk Single DadÂ’s Very Rude Girlie Survey
Source: Eddie2sox Over Christmas I carried out some vital research work! Well, you know me, I like to keep readers informed. And, inspired by a Grumpy Old Men conversation, I went the extra mile to delve into the minds of those most fascinating of creatures - women.
Apologies to embarrassed family members, but science is science.....
I resolved to ask girlies that I know if they preferred: A - **** **** **** *** (**** *******) Or B - **** **** ********
Using a scientific approach, I chose the seven females I thought least likely to punch me, and posed the question (with the option of not answering if they didn‘t want to). Only one took up the “No Comment” option (sorry for stepping over the line), the rest replied! The result? ****(**) 3 *** 3 A draw! Admittedly, one of the voters for ****(**)is gay, but hey. Science is science, and you can call me Doctor 2-Sox! Is there anything I won’t do for the furtherment of mankind?
p.s. If you need me to decode the options for you, PM or email me : trix68@hotmail.co.uk To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink above2007 Review - Part One
Source: Eddie2sox Like the telly does, NSD is looking back on the blogging year..... FebruaryUps - The View Are On Fire! Last night the NME Rock Tour 2007 was in Cambridge, and me and Brocky 2 set off from The Woolpack, together with …… (19 Feb) Educating Sam : One Louder: In the car Sam loves listening to music, and often asks for it to be louder. I limit the volume to 11 on the CD player. It used to be 10, but then I agreed to "one louder". Sam now understands that "one louder" is the very loudest that anything can be - exactly in the same way that Spinal Tap's amps went up to 11 (see quote from the film). It's the kind of thing all boys …. Downs - Another Stolen Bike! Some lowlife scumbag has stolen my bike - the second one I've had nicked in 5 months! (24 Feb) Fave - The Name’s Teeth….Keith Teeth. If you don't eat beef, lose your teef?" "If you're Lee van Cleef, lose your teef?" "Once a thief, lose your teef?" "Red Indian chief, lose your teef?" However the most popular was "Name's not Keith? Lose your teeth," suggested…. (16 Feb)
MarchUps - Tweenie-Tastic! : WTNG (Woolpack The Next Generation for new readers) joined forces yesterday to go and see The Tweenies Live! at King's Lynn Corn Exchange.... (22 Mar) Lunar Eclipse : Anyone else go out to freeze their nuts off? (4 Mar)
Downs - Where’s My Park Gone Daddy? : Right now only the set of swings shown in the picture remains. Much to his credit Sam hasn't moaned about this, he just seems excited that there will be new toys there eventually (26 Mar)
Fave - Karma - And Other Stuff : “Just as I was getting in me car to come home a young woman ran up and asked if it was safe to drive on a flat tyre. Told her she would be OK to go very slowly to the garage to re-inflate it, then my conscience kicked in and I crawled along behind her to the air pump. Took a look - it was obvious that a puff of air would not “ (25 Mar)
AprilUps - We Went To The Seaside - Part One : Another new game! We played it first last night, and again today....it's based on the book "We're Going On A Bear Hunt" (great book by the way, visiting parents!), and also on the way Dave Benson-Phillips set the story to music when we went to see him at Hunstanton's Princess Theatre. Why is it a duck hunt, not a bear hunt? Well, we saw some ducks around the flats recently, but we've never seen any bears! So, Sam sits aloft on Daddy's shoulders, and we set off around the flats...."We're going on a duck hunt..........we're going to find a brown one.......what a beautiful day.........I'm not (7 Apr) Our Weekend Was Good! Saturday : Sam was a little bit fazed by the whole thing, but towards the end of the race we spotted his horse with it's white spot in the middle of its face, and as the fences passed it looked more likely that Silver Birch might earn Sam some money with a top 3 finish. At one point the jockey looked back, which I took to mean that the horse was (14 Apr) Grandad’s Party : A surprise party was arranged for my dad's birthday this year, and it was GREAT! We all gathered at the (29 Apr) After The Party : At one point I heard him confide in my Uncle Barry "All these people here, they're all here because of me". He's right. Six children, thirteen grandchildren, Errrrm umpteen great-grandchildren so far. My dad, what a man! Happy Birthday Dad! (29 Apr)
Downs - Time To Remember The Departed : Chatting to some of the people I used to travel all over the place watching Leeds all those years ago, seems we did know one of the young men murdered in Istanbul by the Turks (5 Apr)
Fave - Heacham Beer Festival : 1721 BUS! Yay, at last. 1808 Off the bus opposite Tesco. 1810 Just seen another Ferrari, 2 in 2 days, weird. And there it ends! I went into the Woolpack on the way home to top up the real ale with some real chemicals in the form of Fosters. Old Bespak buddy Noel came in with his missus, lovely to see him. Actually, I probably saw two of him....I was verrrrr, verrrrr drunk. (9 Apr) To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveSaturday Night At The Woolpack
Source: Eddie2sox Popped up t'Woolie after dropping Sam off.... First of all, SORRY to Jackie, I called you Kat in a previous blog. Sheesh. My blog's now coming back and biting me on the ass.
I WON on the quiz machine! £4 in, £8 out, yay. I rock, and all you other quiz players know it! Take a look at High Scores if you need it in black and white.....
Roy the Caretaker appeared, big scar on his cheek. Who was it Roy, tell us, we'll repay the favour. Turns out it was a "domestic incident" I did find out the whole story, but that will remain a secret.
Barney the Builder was in. He's with a fantastic new lady, and was feeling "better than average, actually getting towards very good". FFS! Go for it old son. They looked chuffed to be with each other, and it's fab.
Debbie Landlady will be in today's Eastern Daily Press! Buy it for the connection. There's a discussion between pubs over the smoking ban. My opinion? I think pubs are places where grown-ups should be allowed to do grown-up stuff, like drinking, swearing......and smoking. I am personally peed off that the smoking ban has knocked the stuffing out of my local. I don't see a load of my friends anymore.
"But what about a barmaid who doesn't smoke? She'll be getting passive smoke." P*** off. If you don't like flying would you apply to be an air hostess? If you can't drive, why try to be a taxi driver? And in my pub, if one bar was a smoking bar, you wouldn't be able to smell the smoke in the non-smoking bar. Don't tell me I'm wrong because I've tried it. Smoke in one bar, not in the other. Too many lilly-livered liberals around now telling us what we can do and where. What's next for pubs? You can't sell alcohol?
By the way, after resigning from Samaritans I am now looking for other voluntary work, if you have any suggestions please get in touch - trix68@hotmail.co.uk
But the biggest story? Trainee Marine proposed to Natalie (not real name, just what I've been calling her for MONTHS, oooops), and she said yes! FAN FECKIN TASTIC! Congrats guys, do we all need to buy new hats now? To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveSuperstar Sampants!
Source: Eddie2sox A fantastic couple of days (yes you read that rightÂ….”couple”) with my little boyÂ…. What a FANBLOODYTASTIC couple of days. Sam’s mummy was nice to let me pick up Sam at 0930 on Friday, until 1800 on Saturday. TWO DAYS! Rock on…. So, straight from cleaning The Woolpack it was off to collect Sampants, and he was very excited about the whole thing. He brought his new submarine with him to show me at bathtime, and off we zoomed. So, what did we do? We did playtime. Almost non-stop, for 32 ½ hours, what a daft question! The ongoing scrap between Sam’s Goodies and Daddy’s Baddies is growing ever bigger, and after Christmas the sides have grown further. Sam has another eight knights plus a king and queen, whereas I have five more pirates (including Captain Hook AND Long John Silver), plus four more monsters. And with the addition of the BlackCastle and SkullIsland , the game is now an adventure playground for Sam’s imagination. He loves thinking up little scenarios for the game, and nearly all the toy figures have their own name and personality (yes, really). From the tough super-hero knight, down to the wimp-like, clumsy monster. If it gets his brain into overdrive in the name of playing, then I’m all for it.
The new Lego harbour is a definite winner with Sam, and he kept going back to it for more fun, exclaiming “Lego Harbour! Part….Six!” etc. It’s added a new dimension to Sam’s Lego games, along with the police van - which used to contain a burglar. As you’d expect, the burglar soon escaped and has been causing all sorts of trouble at the harbour. Well, all over the flat actually. What a naughty chap he is! He even stole the Doctor’s medical equipment, which had been hidden in a secret compartment on the CargoShip. We also watched a little bit of Dads & Lads TV, Hider In The House is still a favourite, but the highlight was The Weakest Link - it was the “puppet” show. Some of Sam’s current faves like Nev the bear and Jelly & Jackson, and some of Daddy’s old memories such as Sage & Onion (the leprechauns from Live & Kicking) and Roland Rat. It was a rait funny show, well done Beeb. On Friday afternoon we made an expedition to Peterborough, with Sam’s Christmas money. Nana was really poorly for two weeks before Christmas, and was so sorry that she hadn’t bought Sam a present. It doesn’t matter Mum, we both love you LOTS AND LOTS anyway. So, to Toys R Us and it’s literally a winter wonderland for a 4-year-old with some money burning a hole in Dad’s pocket. We were there for about a hour, and it was flipping brilliant. There are just so many aisles, all stuffed with every toy you could ever imagine. I told Sam that he didn’t “have” to spend any of his money if he didn’t find something he really liked, and that message must have sunk in. Sam chose to treat himself to a Spiderman Car that fires Web Rockets - it cost half of his fund but he was happy to save the rest for later. I’ve been working hard with Sam on the whole saving up theme, for all of the last year actually, so it was nice that Sam put that into action - on his own choice. Then it was home for more playing and tea - turkey curry! Sam scoffed the curry as much as he could, but I gave both of us way too much. No clean plates, but not the fault of the diners. On to bathtime. We didn’t use bubble bath because we tried out Sam’s submarine. What a cool toy. It submerges and surfaces when you tell it to, and zooms around the bath, fantastic. Bath over we had a quiet few minutes watching the Dad’s Army film (why is it called Dad’s Army Daddy?), then to bed. Sam had a bit of a bad dream so I put him into my bed, and he was there all night. We eventually got up at about 7a.m. and Sam had a good sleep. Saturday dawned and we discussed going to the banger racing in the afternoon. The programme looked fantastic, the TSR bangers Team event, PLUS a caravan race. We checked the weather forecast. We wondered if we’d prefer to stay at home and play. The upshot was that we DIDN’T go. Mainly because the wind was forecast to be an average of 25 mph, directly into the grandstand where we sit. That would freeze us both to death, even with the added insulation of the lovely burgers you can get at the NorfolkArena. Instead we chose to pop into town to see if there was anything that took Sam’s eye in the toy sales. Sam decided to go on his bike, and with the wind in our faces through The Walks we were freezing when we reached town. Sam locked his bike up and we dashed into Bitson’s chippy (TOP chip shop!) for a cone of chips each, to warm the cockles. It seems that Sam has inherited the (surely female) shopping gene from his Daddy, and he browsed and browsed and browsed in every toy outlet in town. I really enjoyed following him round, watching him trying out some toys, looking really closely at others, and eventually he decided. Uh-oh. Sam chose a model battering ram! Made by the same company that made the catapult that we brought home from Lincoln Castle, it’s a nice toy, Sam has good taste! Back home and Sam’s new battering ram was straight into action, skittling the bad guys all over the place. A fantastic plan was hatched by the 3-Headed-Dragon (Boss of the baddies). The Minotaur was told to eat baked beans, mushy peas, and a vegetable curry, then sneak around the back of Skull Island and let out the biggest trump he could manage. While all the knights were looking around to see what the noise was, Daddy’s Baddies would sneak in and claim the fortress! As you might expect, the plan didn’t work. Minotaur did his job perfectly, and farted like a brass band tuning up before a performance. What Captain Hook hadn’t told his troops was that the portcullis would still be down, and they wouldn’t be able to get in anyway, DOH! Therefore there was a crowd of pirates and monsters outside Skull Island, which Spiderman took great pleasure in web-blasting from his new car. For tea we had sausage casserole, lovingly prepared by Daddy the night before, and Sam thought it was yummy. No clean plates, so no treats (bad Dad!). After that we only had a little time left, so I started dropping in little things like mummy was looking forward to giving Sam a big hug, Fudge the guinea pig couldn’t wait, etc. As a guaranteed winner we played banger racing. Not the table top version, the head to head “crash bang wallop” version. Sam uses the Action Man dune buggy for his vehicle. I have to use an old Talk And Learn tractor. But we had a LOT of fun, and this was no exception. I like to use a variety of “secret weapons” on the front of my banger, which has previously included shoes, balloons, you name it. This time it was different. It’s very exciting as Sam crouches at the far end of the hallway while I wheel out my latest “fiendish” weapon. The first secret weapon was The Mashed Potato Of Doom (MPOD). We charged, crashed, the MPOD flew straight onto Sam’s car, and he ate it! The next weapon was The Banana Of Marmalisation (TBOM). Once again, after the cars crashed, Sam ate my secret weapon. GRRRRR! The final item was the TOTOUC (The Tin Of Tomatoes Of Ultimate Chaos). Let’s see you eat these son. He didn’t of course Too soon it was time to take Sam back to the other place. It never gets easier for Dadpants though, and I hope it never does - that would mean I care less about my little boy. Love you Sam, see you on Tuesday xx To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveChristmas Dinner - On Boxing Day
Source: Eddie2sox Wow, was my Christmas dinner delicious! Forget Delia's Christmas cookbook, bow down and worship at the altar of Eddie 2-Sox! You don’t need a huge bible-sized book, costing £14.99 at all good bookshops, to be able to knock out a superb Christmas dinner. It’s easy. Here’s how, and it’s free, just for you: Simply make a list of the various bits and bobs you want in your Christmas dinner. Don’t cook foods that you don’t like just because Jamie Oliver told you to. My list was: Big turkey Roast potatoes Mashed potatoes Roast parsnips Brussels sprouts Pigs in blankets “Proper” gravy Work out how long each part will take to cook, make yourself a little time chart, and counting back from the time you want to sit down and scoff, write down when you need to start cooking/stop cooking/rest each bit. And as you do complete things, wash up the dirty pots and pans immediately. There you go. It’s what the so-called experts would tell you to do, but over 240 pages. My own dinner was abso-bloody-lutely huge and totally delicious. All produced with no stress whatsoever (mister Kronenbourg helped me slightly with that aspect). The pigs in blankets were made the day before. The parsnips were roasted in goose fat at the same time that the turkey went into the oven, then put to one side for an hour or two. The roast potatoes went into the same goose fat. The gravy was produced on the hob as the rest of the dinner waited on the plate. And it turned out perfectly. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveGo With The Flow!
Source: Eddie2sox A really good friend of mine introduced me to the concept of "go with the flow". Time for me to trust in the future and not try to bend it to my own liking.... Go with the flow. If it's going to happen, it "probably" will. Why waste time, energy and emotion worrying about things you can't control anyway. I am a BLOODY NIGHTMARE for worrying about what's going to happen. If I do "this" will "that" happen? If I say "this" to her will it put her off? If I told "that" to so and so, would it affect "this" later on? Etc. Etc. Etc. All the time. Add in the fact that I'm naturally pessimistic, with low self-esteem, and it's a recipe to keep on and on dreaming up, and suffering the consequences of, self-fulfilling prophecies. I've been doing that for as long as I can remember. Incidentally, the pic is taken out of the window a little while ago - “red sky in the morning, shepherd’s warning” - and I include it because it is the opposite of how I feel today. I feel POSITIVE! Being a “glass half-empty” person hasn’t got me very far has it. I’ve seen half-closed doors as “already being shut”. 2008 is only a few days away, and I have such a positive feeling about life, the universe, and everything (42). Where half-closed doors have been ignored in the past, it’s time to approach them, push gently, and see what happens. Some may well end up slamming and trapping my fingers, but others may open up and reveal a field of dreams. This will be applied across all aspects of life. There’s a tempting half-open door in front of me right now. Before now I would have assumed it will change from half-open to “locked, bolted, welcome mat removed” and given up before giving it a try. This time? I’m knocking on that door (you rarely see such lovely knockers these days) and seeing where it takes me. And no, I am NOT giving any hints about it whatsoever. Go with the flow! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveShould I Play Or Should I No?
Source: Eddie2sox So. Booty texts, and the consequences. You’ll recall I was chuffed that I avoided temptation - for once - the other day. Now I am finding out more about that particular situation, and wondering which way I ought to proceed in. The facts. Text message said “What you doing tomorrow? Want to come over?” or something very similar. I declined (first time I have, and pleased with meself). Surely not a problem considering that we’re FBs? Well today more texts. “S*x mad, want hot **** ****, ******* ******, and **** *** ******”. Later on “So if I had a partner would you still be my FB?” Me: “I don’t think that would be right unless he/she agreed!” (Interesting possibilities). Her: “Not sure we should carry on then.”
Well, this is a little confusing. I am surprised I feel so ambiguous about intruding on someone else’s relationship. I am thinking: 1. So what. I have had two marriages ruined because the woman couldn’t resist temptation, and there were men willing to jump into bed with them. Now it is the other way round, so why should I have any qualms about potentially intruding on another bloke’s territory? Well, because it will inevitably lead to bad stuff for the woman and man. I have a conscience (DAMMIT!) and it feels wrong. 2. The sex is great. No limits, spread over hours. Imaginative, rude as ya like, great. 3. Poor bloke. Feels wrong that the girl in question has to find satisfaction with me and not her “partner”. It hurt me when it was the other way round. But is that MY problem in this situation? Probably not. Maybe she should sort it out - sensitively - with him, so she can find what she needs at home, and not away. 4. The girl's head might be getting messed up if she’s seeing more than one man. On the other hand she might just enjoy sex. Who doesn’t? But if she’s a fragile individual, does my involvement make things worse for her, in the long term? I tend to side on the idea that it’s wrong to get involved with someone who is with someone else. But then, it’s been done to me more than once, so what the ****? What a kerfuffle!
Update Next Morning
Having slept on this situation, I've made a decision. But not before more texts:
"I have met someone."
"XXX does not have that raw edge like we had."
And a few more besides. My decision? Steer WELL clear. I want my personal karma score to rise not fall, and just because people have behaved badly towards me in the past doesn't mean that I have to keep the pattern going. No, this is over! Pleased with my decision! I'll text her to let her know - but later on - wouldn't want her to have to explain a mysterious message if they're still in bed!
Update Later
I decided to stop this so the new bloke hasn't got any kind of nasty competition. Here's what happened:
Me: Hi. We should deffo not keep in contact. Not fair on your new man. I think we agree?
Her : Thats up 2 u we havent done anything wrong only txt
Me: I wouldn't be happy if I found out my gf was getting dirty texts from an ex, so I think it's best and fairest.
Her: Yes but then i was never good enough to be ur gf
Me: I don't undrerstand that. You have a new bf, look after him, hope you're both really happy.
Her: I am happy just saying u never wanted me as a gf u built me up in the beginning to being ur gf then dumped me was i not good enough
Me: I'm not getting into "what ifs". This is my last text on the subject.
Her: Yes and mine
Phew! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveChristmas Eve - Christmas Day - Boxing Day
Source: Eddie2sox Busy times at 2-Sox Towers over the holidays! Time for a catch-up before I head off to clean the pub. Christmas Eve. Big shock on Sunday, which eventually led me to getting stuck at Swineshead on the A17 for quite a while and missing the pub cleaning, buggrit. I was slightly late picking Sam up, but we made up for it with a great afternoon’s fun and games. Interspersed with some good old Christmas telly of course. This included The Snowman, which I personally dislike, but Sam really enjoyed it, and I enjoyed watching him enjoying The Snowman. Later on there was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and Shrek The Halls. CCBB once again sparked an outbreak of TOBS in our flat (The Old Bamboo Syndrome), with uncontrolled spontaneous outbreaks of crazy leg-wiggling dancing. We left a bucket of water and some apples for Santa’s reindeer, and a beer and cold sausages for Santa himself (we think he probably gets fed up of sherry and mince pies). After Shrek, Sam was OFF, and into bed so fast, must have been a record. He was asleep by quarter past seven I think! Christmas Day started really well, Sam and me jumped out of bed and he dived into all the toys that Santa had left. Sam was overwhelmed and still buys in totally to the Santa story. Who am I to tell him otherwise? He really likes his new “baddies castle”, and of course his new Lego sets are wonderful. Not to mention all the other fantastic toys and games. Sadly we had to start getting ready to return to mummy’s at half past eight. Sam felt that I was being a bit mean denying him access to his new toy heaven, and indeed Daddy did feel very mean. But I certainly wouldn’t tell him “Sam the reason you have to leave these things behind is because of mummy”, so I took one for the parenting team and tried to soften the mood as much as possible. This included Sam taking a new Lego cement mixer kit back to build later on with his mum. Straight from there to pick up The Two Amigos, who were duly dropped off at Norwich Airport at ten past ten - perfect timing. Returned to Lynn, it was piddling down all the way. There was just enough time to try the next contender in the Poached Egg Challenge - and Delia Smith’s version was an unmitigated disaster! In the afternoon I did my annual Christmas Day Samaritans shift. Incidentally, that was my last such duty for a very, very long time, maybe even ever, as I put in a resignation letter to the boss. I’ve had too much interaction with suicide this year, and my feelings for people who get to that point are not exactly where they need to be if I want to be a useful voice on the end of the line. In the New Year I’ll look round for some other voluntary work, there’s plenty of choice I believe. Christmas Night was family phone calls and a relatively early night - shocking! On to Boxing Day! Straight after blogging this blog I’m away to spruce up The Woolpack, and thence out on the streets to deliver the Boxing Day edition of the free paper. “Should” be done by half 12 at the latest. This afternoon I’m cooking my Christmas Dinner, and I am very excited about it. The turkey in the fridge is labelled as “Feeds 8 - 10”, with the plan being that I try lots of different leftover turkey recipes over the next week: http://southernfood.about.com/cs/turkeyinformation/a/leftover_turkey.htm Right, choo choo, clickety clack, OFF WE GO! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink abovePoached Eggs VIII - Delia Smith - The Marathon
Source: Eddie2sox Britain‘s culinary matriarch is back! Following a poor 5th for her scrambled egg, and a 3rd in the Welsh Rarebit, will Norwich‘s chairman-ess continue her rise up the rankings? My initial feeling is no. I’ve waffled on about cooking times being too short, but a quick perusal of the Delia Way shows a timing of TEN minutes! Is this insane? We shall see. Insane turned out to be an appropriate word for this shambles of a recipe. Delia may have a reputation as a domestic goddess, but she can’t do eggs to save her life. Amazingly, the cooking time (well, the “calm and happy sitting time”) was a little short. Plus I was glad I set an alarm for the end of the time, as I sort of forgot about it. Delia, lovey, leave the omelettes to someone else? Altogether, possibly the worst end product in Norfolk Single Dad history. You can find this recipe here : http://www.deliaonline.com/cookery-school/how-to/how-to-poach-an-egg,12,AR.html Ease & Effort: 1.5 - Too much faffing about. For a start you need water “1 inch” deep - how the chuff are you meant to know how much that is? I filled the frying pan up to the required level, using a ruler, then tried to pour this exact amount into the kettle - uh oh. Due to the width of the pan, loads of the water didn’t make it into the kettle. So I gave up on that idea, filled the kettle to Full, then decanted 1 inch depth once it had boiled. Used a ruler and everything. Delia then says that almost straight away small bubbles appear all over the base of the pan - not in mine they didn’t. It took 4 minutes before even a few bubbles showed up, grrrr, how annoying having to wait. Then, after simmering the egg for a minute, the ten minute wait after removal from the heat. I have no idea why Delia chose this way of poaching, but ten minutes simply allowed the egg enough time to anchor itself to the bottom of the pan - and with no vinegar or whirlpooling in sight, there was nothing to stop the egg spreading hither and thither as it pleased. The yolk broke as I triend to scoop up as much of the egg as I could, and then the whole thing, spoon included, stuck to the “wodge” of kitchen paper. By the time it reached the toast I guess there was maybe only half the egg left! Dismal.
Presentation: 1 - The term “dog‘s dinner“ sprang to mind, but I don‘t think a dog would find this an attractive look either. Due to the inevitable separation during cooking, the yolk had left the white completely, and looked unpleasantly sac-like (is that a word? It is now). The white, despite the length of the operation, was rather undercooked here and there. Not a good look.
Yolk: 1 - Separated from the white, broke during the delicate removal from the pan, stuck onto the kitchen towel. Tasted just about edible. 1 point is generous.
White: 1 - Spread all over the pan in the cooking phase, but was still not properly cooked in places. A lot of the white evaded capture thanks to the separation. Not very pleasant.
Scores On The Doors Mahalo - 12.5 Vash The Stampede - 12.0 Old Bob - 11.5 Rick Stein - 10.5 Mrs Beeton - 9.0 Ainsley Harriott - 6.5 James Martin - 6.0 Delia Smith - 4.5
Running Order: 9 - Mr Breakfast 10 - Wally Webb 11 - Australian Egg Board 12 - Woolpack Wally TBN - Poached Egg Machine
Your Points Of View One of my fab sisters made the following comment about Sweet Baby James’ recipe : “Not even going to try this one. My rule of thumb for cooking times is that there has to be time between starting to cook and serving up to do at least one other useful job - wash-up, go to loo or similar. This obviously doesn't meet the criteria. Looks 'orrible.” Well said sis!
Send Me Your Comments! New this time - YOUR chance to participate in the world’s best blog-based cooking/tasting eggy competition. The Welsh Rarebit thread prompted loads of comments and emails, and I wish I’d shared some of them with you. So. Email me at trix68@hotmail.co.uk or leave a comment on the blog. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveI Did It!
Source: Eddie2sox Yay for me! I resisted a booty text! “What you doing tomorrow night? Fancy coming round?” I am REALLY chuffed. I do like the girlie in question a lot, but I HAVE to start behaving more….more….decently, I guess. Booty calls/texts have their place in any single person’s life, but they shouldn’t be ruled by them. And for a change I have been mature, sensible, restrained…..boring? I think I’ve had something of a mental watershed recently, with regard to my opinion about women/relationships/sex. Let’s face it, sex is incredibly good fun. But is it possible to indulge yourselves without one of the people involved developing stronger feelings than just a need to burn off some excess hormones? Probably not, which makes the whole booty call thing suddenly seem a little perilous. I don’t want somebody to buy into liking me “properly” when I only have a “good time” mentality, as equally it would hurt me if I found myself with strong feelings for somebody who is happy to just “get their jollies”. I recently made a complete arse of myself when I actually plucked up the courage to tell a certain lady exactly how I felt. I like her A LOT and after a lot of flirting I eventually decided to take the metaphorical plunge over the Waterfall Of Honesty. “I like you a lot, and fancy you, and would really like to move things on between us.” The answer? “Let’s stay friends”. I might have guessed as much, as the lady in question is seven or eight divisions above me in terms of looks, lifestyle, career, you name it. But I went for it and got the answer that (all the time) I had expected. Ho bloody hum. So, as I said in a fairly recent blog, I don’t want to get into a full-on do with anyone, because I can’t make it work. Yet I asked someone to do exactly that. What a hypocrite. Having spent the week since the rejection thinking about things, I’ve come to the following conclusion; a brief (i.e. about 6 month) but intense relationship, with a friendly ending, is probably the best scenario for me at the moment. The woman? Well, if you’re talking “ideal”, she will have to be older than me, quirky, intelligent, FAR from a stick-insect figure, flirty, not put-off by spending some time with FANTASTIC 4-year-old nippers, most of all, “nice”. If you know anyone like that please forward their names and addresses to me! That would be a fantabulous Christmas present. That’s about it, really. My blogs are getting more and more personal. Is that a good thing? To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveSTOP IT!
Source: Eddie2sox I have now had enough, if any more people I know want to kill themselves then DON'T. I love you, you idiot Right, enough's enough. Yet another friend tried to kill herself tonight and I am now officially fed up of it. D, I know you've read this in the past, but I love you, as do lots and lots of people. I hope you read this when you're out and about. I love ya.
Home now, feeling angry, frustrated and helpless. Also relieved. 100% pissed off. There's been more than enough people passing away this year, can everyone PLEASE stop dieing?
I'm really pissed off at myself right now, after L's death, Mrs L's wife's death, and the near miss with SG, I have been going out of my way to drop a line, somehow, to people I haven't talked to in a while. But I missed out D.
This is all completely crap, when does the bad stuff finish and the good stuff start?
So angry at the moment. Writing stuff down helps I suppose, but it helps me and not the people going through the deepest, darkest places.
Pic is a sunflower, which me and D both love.
Monday Morning Update
D's fine. Actually feeling a bit sheepish, and rather embarrassed about causing so much fuss.
Now, onto Christmas! Picking Sam up at 12. Won't do to look like crap in front of my little superstar! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveThey "Very Kindly" Let Us Sing....
Source: Eddie2sox One thing I forgot to mention was something that Sam told me yesterday as we were travelling up the A17 towards Sleaford.... ....he said that when his school had gone to St John's church for carol singing, to quote, "The grown-ups very kindly let us sing Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer."
Very kindly? What? So they were kind enough to let you and your friends brighten up their gloomy church for once?
I was pretty shocked to hear that. Is this the message "the church" is passing onto our children when they're at school? "You're privileged that we let you sing something happy and joyful in our precious, draughty, dark, cold old building"? I would have thought that "Please come to brighten our routinely dull and soul-less meeting place, and sing whatever makes us all feel happier" would be more appropriate. No wonder less and less people give the church a second thought.
Sam repeated the phrase "the grown-ups very kindly let us" several times, so they must have had it drummed into them over and over again.
Shocking! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveNice Saturday - Shame About The End!
Source: Eddie2sox The 2-Sox's had a fun Saturday, getting all excited about Chrimbo, with lots of fun along the way.....until 6 o'clock! Up at 7 (yes 7, Sam’s mummy insists Sam stays in bed a certain time, even if he’s wide awake) and on with the day. First game was trying to find the naughty pirate who stole a barrel of pirate beer from the pirate ship on Friday night, but managed to evade capture. He was eventually tracked down because he was singing Jingle Bells from his hiding place, and placed in prison. Serves ya right! Sam breakfasted on Coco Pops and a banana, not at the same time, I tried another poached egg recipe (and it was top class - Mahalo - check out the blog). Today was the last TMI of the series. Caroline (BRUM BRUM!) was crowned Queen Of TMI last week, so this week the boys were involved in a vote-battle. Whoever scored least faced the Ultimate Gunging. Mark lost. Mark got fantabulously splattered. At the end of the show they played a “best moments” roll, and I always find these BLOODY stressful, the shows become a part of your life over the weeks, the presenters become honourary members of your family and your Saturday morning routine, and to see it ending upsets me. Call me gay or soft or girlie if you want, but it’s just emotions. I first noticed it the day of the last ever Tiswas show, when I found myself crying on the living room floor! Not “many” Saturday morning shows have got into my brain since then. Fully Booked (Gail Porter, brum brum again), Live & Kicking (Zoe Ball), Number 73 (errrrm…Sandy Toksvig!) are the others. Funnily enough, although SMTV:Live was a brilliant, funny show, it’s passing didn’t really register on my radar. Possibly because I was spot bang in the middle of a marriage break-up at the time!? So. We zoomed into town, Daddy got his hair cut (“like a snooker ball” according to Sam….”you’re bald!”). Then off up the A17 to visit Nana to see how she is doing and deliver presents for the rest of the family - they all live round there still. Nana was actually still a bit under the weather and has been for over a week now. So much so that she told me she hadn’t been able to buy Sam and me a present, and she pressed money into my hand so we could buy “something you like”. Very emotional moment. Auntie Kay and Uncle Trev arrived too (my sis and brother-in-law) so it was quite a nice afternoon. Sam and me (and Kay, bless ya!) ventured out to play ball with Didi the dog, and me and Sam raced round the garden in a wheelbarrow. Well. ONE of us was in the wheelbarrow, and it wasn’t Daddy! Sam loves bouncing over the big roots of the biggest poplar tree, and at one point almost bounced right out of the barrow…..but then we chased Didi round the garden and back to the cottage yard. Back inside Sam was charming, Auntie Kay was funny, and we had a really “nice” (I mean that in a good way) time. All too soon it was time to go, to beat the six o’clock deadline, and Sam came up with a wizard ruse! Drive up to where Nana and Auntie Kay are standing, yell “Coooo-eeeee!” (see Lincoln Castle blog), then drive off again. We did this four times, with Sam in stitches each time, and Nana and Auntie Kay looking slightly befuddled. Eventually I told Sam we should let them go back indoors as it was so cold outside, and we set off for home. Halfway home Sam asked “Daddy, have I told you that I love you today?” I lied and said no. Sam told me “I love you Daddy.” It’s been 5 weeks since we ate a MacDonald’s, so we drove through and enjoyed a junk-fest on the settee….while watching One Man And His Dog! Since visiting the Dinosaur Park and seeing real sheepdogs doing their stuff - and stroking them etc - Sam has been fascinated with the subject. To randomly find the same show I used to love when I was a nipper, on the TV at a time when I really needed something good to distract Sam from the impending return to mummy’s, was a billy bonus. Tea scoffed, it was time for a bath. Yet another full-scale comedy scrap between the forces of good and evil. Yet again, Sam’s Goodies won. DESPITE! Camera Man leaping into action and his trousers falling down AGAIN. Dragon charging into battle, starting to bite a knight, then remembering he’d left his cooker on. Doctor X performing his camp disco classic “Big Metal Boxing Glove”. (This ends with both Sam and me being soaked). Lookout AGAIN aiming his telescope at Claudius’ bottom. Sam’s lot won. Then it was out the bath, ten minutes left. Sam asked to watch a bit of Action Man video. So, for ten fantastic minutes, we snuggled up and watched Action Man on video. Then “shoes on”, the by-word for “time to go back”. Sam was fairly OK about it tonight. His mummy rang earlier, and Sam told me that she said they would be putting the decorations on their Christmas tree tonight. Tad late methinks. Sadly, when we got to mummy’s she said “The tree’s up but we’re not decorating it tonight.” She was also, as usual, accusatory to me. She said “Sam seems tired”. It’s nearly bedtime, of course he’s tired. She said “He’s not in a very good mood.” He was in a superbly happy mood until we had to come here. Leaving the Daddy-time behind makes Sam sad. Sorry about that. Maybe you should take a look at how he’s treated here. He’s sad BECAUSE he is here now, NOT because of where he’s been. I bloody miss my Sampants like mad. I feel uncomfortable that as soon as he gets back “there” he becomes grumpy and upset. What goes on there that he doesn’t like? It’s also offensive that his mood is attributed to me. He’s never upset when he comes here. So off to The Woolpack for me, and I enjoyed a lovely three pints of Kroney. Good chat with New Bob about Christmas - he agrees with me that it’s nothing to do with religion in this day and age. Spoke to two other people about it who I won’t name, who also agreed religion is nothing in the Christmas scene any more. It’s about time off work, over-indulgence, and fun. Also widely agreed was the hypocrisy of people who bleat on about “We should remember what Christmas is about”, when the only time they go to church is Christmas Eve when they’re pissed. But hey, all religion is hypocritical. But to sum up. Great day with my amazing little boy (sad at times). Upsetting handover to accusing mummy. Pleasant 3 pints of Kronenbourg with mates. That was Saturday. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink abovePoached Eggs VII - Mahalo - The Finishing Touches
Source: Eddie2sox Mahalo is a website that claims to be “The worldÂ’s first human-powered search engine”, whatever THAT meansÂ….. To be honest, it‘s not such a bad little site. Not sure whether “human-powered” means there are a team of YTS trainees pedalling stationary cycles all day to power the servers, but it’s worth a gleg. The poached egg recipe turned out to be from the top drawer. Mahalo also provides video clips for some of its search results, and the poached eggs question led to me watching America’s own version of Delia Smith. By that I mean methodical, preachy, and repeatedly stating the obvious; “For poached eggs you will need eggs - these are provided by chickens and can bought at shops that sell eggs, and other egg-related products. Such as Tesco”. So if you choose to view the video, be prepared to be patronised! There’s also an option for putting your poached eggs into iced water, and storing them for 24 hours - who would want to do that though, and why? You can find this recipe here : http://www.mahalo.com/How_to_Poach_an_Egg
Ease & Effort: 4.5 - A fairly traditional method, but with a little more time and care taken to make sure the finished product looks appealing as well as tasting fablicious. Fairly specific in the right places too, starting with the amount of water needed - “enough to fully immerse an egg” - which is a detail mostly not included by other recipes. This used the egg in a cup before the pan technique, to reduce the risk of the yolk breaking on contact with the water. A sensible amount of vinegar (15 ml in a total amount of 1 litre of water), and detailed timings (I used the mid-point of the range given) added to the user-friendly nature of Mahalo’s poached egg method.
Presentation: 4 - Another bonus in this version was the attention to detail. From gently stirring to keep the egg together, to trimming any stray strings of white off, to adding salt and pepper if you want to, this egg was always going to look the part. Let’s face it, a little trimming makes many things more appealing to put in your mouth.
Yolk: 2 - A very minor criticism - the yolk was slightly, ever so slightly, overdone at the mid-point of Mahalo‘s timing range. 15 seconds less would maybe be perfect. One part of the yolk, that wasn’t protected by white, had become a little overdone.
White: 2 - Maybe the best white so far. Firm, but not hard, lovely jubbly.
Scores On The Doors Mahalo - 12.5 Vash The Stampede - 12.0 Old Bob - 11.5 Rick Stein - 10.5 Mrs Beeton - 9.0 Ainsley Harriott - 6.5 James Martin - 6.0
Running Order: 8 - Poached Egg Machine - may be delayed, Old Bob’s not passed on the machine yet! So we may see Delia et al soon. 9 - Delia Smith 10 - Mr Breakfast 11 - Wally Webb 12 - Australian Egg Board 13 - Woolpack Wally
Send Me Your Comments! New this time - YOUR chance to participate in the world’s best blog-based cooking/tasting eggy competition. The Welsh Rarebit thread prompted loads of comments and emails, and I wish I’d shared some of them with you. So. Email me at trix68@hotmail.co.uk or leave a comment on the blog. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveThe Sexiest Woman On TV!
Source: Eddie2sox What do you think? Kelly Brook? Nah. Bekki Mantin? Nope. Dawn French? Hmmmm......wrong again. Step forward Anita Knight.... Anita Knight is the uber-babe co-star of The Secret Show.
She's intelligent, a little bit (but not too) posh, brave, fit as a butcher's dog, and YES I WOULD!
Ding Dong! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink abovePoached Eggs VI - Vash The Stampede - The Clingfilm
Source: Eddie2sox What a shady character Vash The Stampede is, known only from a few mentions on other websitesÂ….. Also, there is no recipe written down anywhere, just advice. A tricky one then. Plus, you use Clingfilm. A radical new approach to the subject. I was liking it already. You put Clingfilm over a cup, push it in to make a kind of hollow, then break the egg into it. Next you twist the Clingfilm together to seal it tightly, then put it into boiling water. Sounds simple enough. So what exactly is involved? Nobody knows for sure. Vash is a seemingly secretive Interweb user, and not keen for his expertise to be made public, as you can see here: http://www.aidanbrooks.blogspot.com/2007/05/gamekeeper-turned-poacher.html when he refused permission for the use of his recipe.I’ve read a few accounts of the Clingfilm method, and the general consensus seems to be “keep the water boiling, cook for 3 ½ minutes“. So that’s how I did it. This isn’t actually “poached”, as there is a barrier between egg and water, but that’s probably an ecumenical matter. My inspiration for this whole challenge developed here : http://www.b3ta.com/features/howtopoachanegg/ Ease & Effort: 3 - This was rather fiddly and full of potential problems. Putting the Clingfilm into the cup was easy, breaking the egg in was easy, gathering the spare Clingfilm and twisting it securely was a wee bit tricky - the egg nearly overflowed out of the sides of the cup, whoops! Put it in the hot water, easy. Wait 3 ½ minutes, easy. Remove. Ah….problem. I used a fork to spear the bunched Clingfilm and lift the egg from the water. You now have a boiling hot package of egg and Clingfilm, too hot to handle. I lifted the tied end again with a fork and cut it open using kitchen scissors. Then, risking burnt fingers, turned the egg out onto the toast. It stuck a little to the Clingfilm but not too damagingly, and looked pretty darned good! The website version reads as follows: Get some microwaveable Clingfilm Get a cup Push the cling film into the cup, and crack the egg into the cling film You should be able to tie the Clingfilm around the top of the egg, Drop egg into boiling water, and poach normally, it'll taste great, and you wont have to spend ages scrubbing cooked on egg of the damn pan.
Presentation: 4.5 - Looked delicious, a nice rounded shape, dimpled surface, and the yolk spread out “just right“. Yolk: 2.5 - Not sure this could be bettered. The perfect texture, not runny or hard, just…..perfect. White: 2 - Again, just about perfect. The only way it could be improved is by finding a way of keeping the yolk completely surrounded by the white. There was a gap in this white, hence losing half a point. Altogether a superb method of poaching an egg. A new leader. Scores On The Doors Vash The Stampede - 12.0 Old Bob - 11.5 Rick Stein - 10.5 Mrs Beeton - 9.0 Ainsley Harriott - 6.5 James Martin - 6.0
Running Order: 7 - Mahalo 8 - Poached Egg Machine 9 - Delia Smith 10 - Mr Breakfast 11 - Wally Webb 12 - Australian Egg Board 13 - Woolpack Wally
Send Me Your Comments! New this time - YOUR chance to participate in the world’s best blog-based cooking/tasting eggy competition. The Welsh Rarebit thread prompted loads of comments and emails, and I wish I’d shared some of them with you. So. Email me at trix68@hotmail.co.uk or leave a comment on the blog. |
