| Home | Skip Navigation | Access Keys | Accessibility | FAQs | Log In | Register |
|
|
|
Home > Blogs > Norfolk Single Dad > Posted in May 2007 Norfolk Single DadPosted in May 2007A slice of English life in all its glory, through the eyes of a 39 year-old single dad and his amazing 4 year-old son.... Big Brother!
Source: Eddie2sox Right, some of us here love the show, let's have a blog about it! I am happy to set up a new blog for IMM BB lovers to post their views, rants etc......a new blog which will only last a few months......the select few will be able to access and post on the BB Blog......
Anyone up for blogging our BB experience this year?
I'll start and carry it on even if no fellow IMM-er replies! But I think it will be great fun for "a few" of us to be able to post to a BB blog! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveNursing Training
Source: Eddie2sox Didn't get in.... What now? To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveWednesday Catch-Up
Source: Eddie2sox Had fun with Sam yesterday, and been so busy.......what with the cleaning, voluntary work, Sam.....how DID I manage when I had a proper job? Right, so it’s been a busy old time. Tuesday was cleaning from half five to noon, then I had Sam here all afternoon. The cleaning was boring, but the afternoon was ACE. Tuesday AfternoonWe played with Sam’s Lego a lot. He is now starting to make original things himself, usually cars or planes, all with special skills more associated with Superman or Captain Fartypants. He loves seeing three or four of his creations all lined up (parked, daddy) together! We decided to go out for a walk, with Sam riding his bike, even though it was chucking it down with rain. A bit of rain has never stopped us doing anything before, and didn’t yesterday either. Sam pedalled like the clappers round the KES cycle path, so much so that he felt hot and wanted his coat undone. At which point he decided to start puddle splashing, and measuring their depth with his hand - but palm side down. In short order he had soggy arms, soaking trousers, and sodden undercrackers. Sam walked along the college wall while I pushed his bike, and countless passing females looked on adoringly. At Sam, not me, more’s the pity! Tea was bolognaise with garlic bread - Sam’s favourite at the moment, he had THREE slices - and again all too soon it was back to his mummy’s. His mummy was out! I later found that she’d texted me at 6.30 (the time Sam gets back) to say they had gone out to buy a fireplace, and please explain to Sam - flipping heck, I didn’t even get the text til later, how was I meant to explain? Fortunately Sam was as good as gold cos Grandma was there, and we had a lovely hug before parting for another few days. I was rather annoyed about the text and lack of mummy for Sam! Wednesday Morning & AfternoonToday started with cleaning again, which is sometimes strangely therapeutic. I was SOOOOO knackered at 5.05 a.m. when the alarm went off. Wandered up to The Woolpack - 20 vehicles passed me even at that time - 16 of them only had one person inside! Wonder where they were all going and if they could have walked or used a bike instead? While I was cleaning, Scottish and DJ Jay wandered past (god knows what they were doing out of bed at 6 in the morning!), I arranged to meet Jay for a chat tomorrow dinnertime. Sam’s mum has asked me to send an invitation to his birthday party to her brother’s kids Alfie and Emma - but two weeks ago she said they were going to have a separate family do. I didn’t have any invitations left so suggested she pop into Planet Zoom to pick one up - WELL!!!! I may as well have done a pooh in her handbag! “HOW can I go to Planet Zoom? It’s not near here!“ I did consider suggesting “Walk, it’ll take 20 minutes” or “Send your boyfriend in his car” but that would just stoke her fires of indignation further! Maybe I ought to start wiping her bum after she’s taken a dump as well? Later on, back from the pub at Wisbech, I had an hour to have a nap before a voluntary shift this afternoon from 2 til 6. The shift was VERY quiet, which seems to suggest that the country is a happy place, and then it’s home time. Tonight for me is heaven! I have a Chinese takeaway, AND Big Brother 8 starts! It doesn’t get any better than that! Random Bits & BobsYou may have read a while ago that Sam’s mummy stopped Sam coming here on Bank Holiday Monday, and therefore prevented us watching the banger racing that I’d had planned since February. Reason being “We have plans”. Well, I was flabbergasted and extremely disappointed to find out what those plans were. Sam and his mummy went to Grandma’s house for “a roast dinner“. Wonderful. Let’s face it, you can’t have a roast dinner ANY time you want to can you…….. I heard a very rare Elvis Presley song on the radio this morning, the first, and ultimately unreleased, version of “Blue Suede Shoes”. I “think” the words were something like this: “Well it’s a one for a Stella, Two for some fags, Three get yer coat on, Cos the Globe’s full of sl…err…totty, And don’t you, Sit on Bob’s Senior Stool. You can do anything, But don’t sit on Bob’s senior stool. You can have a pop cos his hair is grey, He’ll laugh in your face if you tell him he’s gay, Say that he’s thick and you’ll look a fool, But uh-oh geezer stay off of that stool, And don’t you, Sit on Bob’s Senior Stool. You can do anything, But don’t sit on Bob’s senior stool. Stool, stool, senior stool, uh-huh-huh, Stool, stool, senior stool, uh-huh-huh, Stool, stool, senior stool, uh-huh-huh…… To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveWoolpack Charity Pool Tournament - 27 May 07
Source: Eddie2sox The banter finally got too much and a challenge was issued.....would the regulars who don't like being in pool teams be better than the pool teams themselves? And so it came to pass that four teams of pool players gathered in The Woolpack public house, to do battle and establish which among them was the best.
The teams - the official Woolpack "A" Team, the Woolpack "B" Team, the Woolpack Wallies (regulars who want a pop at the official players), and Vonnie's Dollies (see picture), a female version of Woolpack Wallies.
The format - every team plays a match against every other team. Matches are three frames of randomly-drawn doubles. Each frame win scores one point. The match winners gain two bonus points. So every match will result in either 4-1 or 5-0.
The event kicked off with the Woolpack Wallies humiliating the much-fancied Woolpack "A" Team 5-0! Woolie B beat the Dollies 5-0, and then continued their good form by coming out 4-1 winners against the Wallies.
Scores: Woolie B 9, Wallies 6, Woolie A 0, Dollies 0.
Next match was the Woolie A against the....it has to be said.....amazingly sexy, curvaceous, brum brum Dollies. It was a hard fought game, which unfortunately the supremely fanciable Dollies lost 1-4.
Scores: Woolie B 9, Wallies 6, Woolie A 4, Dollies 1.
Penultimate match. A colossal encounter, with added needle. The "A" Team against the "B" Team. The B Team could win the tournament with a win here. How disappointing then, that the A Team finally woke up and dished out a 5-0 spanking!
Scores: Woolie A 9, Woolie B 9, Wallies 6, Dollies 1.
The scene was set. The Wallies had to beat the cute-ass Dollies to take the title. Which of course they did, and posted a 5-0 scoreline.
Scores: Wallies 11, Woolie A 9, Woolie B 9, Dollies 1.
A play-off for second place saw Macca of the A's meet Lee of the B's in a one frame shoot-out.....Macca won.
Final placings saw the Wallies as winners, the A Team as runners-up, followed by the B Team and then the most bodacious Dollies.
So, the purpose of this Bank Holiday extravaganza? Money for charity mate! The charity was Samaritans who benefitted to the tune of £210. GREAT work everybody.
In a nod to Live Aid, Brocky recreated Geldof's famed "Give us your f***ing money" appeal.....but Geldof didn't follow that with "You bunch of f***ing c****!"
Great event, well organised, everyone had a good time Everyone's a winner! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink above The Walks Development - 26 May 07 (Plus crap joke of the week)....
Source: Eddie2sox On Friday night we spotted a significant development in the park as we drove home from nursery..... On Saturday morning, en route to the town centre, we checked it out. More progress! The steel framework for the cafe/toilet block is now up and there's a mountain of breeze blocks ready for the brickies to slap up around it. As always, Sam was fascinated. They're doing quite well aren't they!
More info can be found at TheWalks
Crap Joke Of The Week!This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada, anyway after a tough day on the slopes he retires to a bar at the foot of the mountain. After a couple of whiskeys he notices a stuffed animal on the wall with antlers and he says to the barman "What's that pal?" The barman says "It's a moose", and the Scottish chap says "F*** me, how big are the cats?" To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink above Jurassic-Tastic!
Source: Eddie2sox For some reason, we decided on Friday night to go to a dinosaur park on Saturday.... ......so what a good job there is one about 40 miles away! We went to Dinosaur Adventure (It's Time You Came-N-Saurus) halfway between Fakenham and Norwich and had a fantastic time - but more of that later.
My Manic Friday
I'm not surprised I wasn't looking forward to Friday, but in hindsight it was all pretty good. The two hours wielding mop and duster, and expertly guiding Henry into all the nooks and crannies, went as quick as I can remember it doing so, and the place looked luvverly when I departed for home, a quick wash and brush-up then....
....off to my voluntary shift. Four hours there again went quickly, with a "steady" workload, and nothing too heavy for a Friday morning! I also took the chance in between calls to write Sam's birthday party invitations, which I later delivered to nursery and asked the girls to send home with the relevant tots. So, 2 p.m. and I zoomed off to see my alcohol counsellor, who is still really chuffed that I only drink two days a week nowadays. He was particularly impressed with how I dealt with being shafted over Sam access in Half Term. Good for me, good for Sam! And then home, to put my feet up for.......fifteen minutes, it was bliss.
Sam And Daddy's Friday Night
Soon enough I headed out of the door again, this time to collect Sam for his weekly overnight stay at our flat. In the morning post had been a missed delivery card addressed to Sam - and he was delighted and excited when I handed it to him outside nursery. As I thought, it was Sam's latest save-up-and-buy purchase, a Lego Recycling Lorry. He is now a confirmed fan of money-saving, which is a good lesson to have learned at his age! On the way back we stopped for Saturday pickernicker food, and of course the regulation chips for Chip Butty Friday Tea. We go to Denny's chippy, which is near the Gaywood clock, and the mad-as-a-hatter Chinese lady in there has taken a real shine to Sam (show me any woman he has ever met who hasn't). Sam always gets a lolly, and somehow this bonkers bird invited herself out with us on Saturday - all in jest of course but Sam absolutely loves it.
Bathtime came soon enough, and the major talking point was my new song and dance, which had Sam crying with laughter. Ever seen the Vimto advert with the "dad's pants in the middle of his roll" line? Well, Sam thought it was hilarious to see his Daddy dancing round the bathroom, yanking his "pants" (boxers actually of course!) out of the top of his jeans singing "I've got MY PANTS in the middle of me jeans, MY PANTS in the middle of me jeans, MY PANTS in the middle of me jeans.....and I can smell poo-poo". Guess it's funnier if you're three years old. And if you're tempted to perform it yourself, take time in between repeat shows to reposition your undercrackers to their original place, as significant-to-severe goolie-crushing can occur. Probably. Sam went off to sleep nicely in his eucalyptus oil scented bedroom (clears the sinuses AND helps relaxation allegedly - seems to work!).
Saturday Morning - More Archaeology!
Sam came into my bed at 3.28 a.m. and immediately went back to a peaceful sleep. We bounded out of bed at 6 and spent the usual few hours pottering, playing, breakfasting, "Dad's Pants-ing", our normal, comfy, happy routine. Balamory featured a monster truck rally and parade, which was the cue for us to head off and hold our own lorry parade in Sam's bedroom.
We had to pop into town to get some money for our day out, and of course we went to investigate the earth banks in The Walks on the way. More interesting things were found! A seashell (Sam, this whole place used to be under the sea long ago), pieces of clay pipes (people used to smoke tobacco in these things a very long time ago), and something that may or may not be metallic, but is slightly triangular and pointy. We're going to use the Internet to look in a bit more detail at these things next week....we brought them home and put them in a bowl of water to clean up a bit.
Dinosaur Adventure
And then we were OFF! As we'd been stopped by Sam's mum from going to the Monday banger racing, which we'd had planned since February, we had our Bank Holiday outing on a Saturday instead. It took about an hour to get to Dinoland, but a three-quarters empty car park and a few spots of rain were good news for us! The pic attached to this blog is me, taken on my phone by Sam, his first published work. It cost us £16 for the two of us, which I thought was a little steep - but on reflection I am more than happy with it. Going to the cinema would cost a tenner for a ninety minute film after all, and you can stay all day in Dinoland. So, what did we do? I'll just write a little bit as I remember it! The Brochure : When you pay to get in you're given a booklet for the children. This actually turns out to be a vital part of interacting in the park. One page is called "Dippy's Passport To Adventure" (Dippy is the mascot dinosaur). This passport has eight blank boxes, into which you can insert different ink stamps that are "hidden" all round the park. GREAT idea! There's a map in the centre pages, but most of the rest is made up of puzzles, facts about exhibits etc. Including.... Dinosaur Trail (aka Track T-Rex) : When you approach the Dino Trail there is a message from the Head Ranger asking you to help him track down any pesky T-Rex's that may be in the area....and you ink stamp the "check-in" box....the trail winds hither and thither and is full of life-size models of an incredible assortment of dinosaurs. After a while you "find" the Ranger's Land Rover, but no sign of the man himself! There's a radio in the back of the vehicle which, when the child presses a button, plays a message from the Ranger asking your kids to help him track the T-Rex's. It's a recorded message of course, but Sam didn't know, and the following exchange happened: "Ranger to Land Rover....." "Hello!" "Ranger to Land Rover!" "I said HELLO!" "Are you receving me?" "I said hello, shut UP!" Sam stropped out of the vehicle, much to the amusement of the gathered parents, and we pressed onward. We soon found Field Station 1, with another written message from the Ranger, that he had been called away and could you carry on looking please....we did. We spotted a T-Rex too! And then found another written message, something like "please find the next field station and report what you've found to the Ranger". Field Station 2 contained a battered old radio, and Sam had another "conversation" with the Ranger, who thanked him for his help. Charmingly, the Ranger finished "Over and out", and Sam replied "Over". HOW CUTE! We did find the other T-Rex's in the end, but what a fantastic half an hour's fun for kids (little and big varieties). Raptor Racers : Being pedal cars with rear-wheel steering. Naturally, anything involving cars and racing is heaven on earth for Sam, so he had five goes on the Raptor Racers throughout the afternoon! He was pretty good with the novel steering too, AND also had the most spectacular crash that I saw all day. Don't tell his mummy. Jurassic Putt : Crazy Golf with a dino theme. Eight holes, kiddie size putters, and a chart in the brochure to record your scores (again, how well thought out). Hole 3 seemed to require that you whack the ball up a dinosaur's ass, and watch it come out of its mouth, most chucklesome if you're Sam! The last hole is a smoking volcano. This was Sam's first ever attempt at proper crazy golf and he adored it. So much so that he got four rounds in. Animal Handling Fun Barn : Lots of the more common animals such as goats, rabbits and the like, but lots of different ones too, water dragons, wallabies, iguanas (look how long his tail is Daddy!), snakes, stick insects etc. A-Mazeing - Hidden World Trail : This is a lovely (simple) maze, with lots of pseudo-gory dead ends, with people's feet sticking out of mud pools etc, rope bridges, cavemen, and one of those elusive ink stamps of Dippy's. Adventure Play Area: My only regret about today was not going earlier. We had a good few hours, but I couldn't let Sam spend as much time as he would have liked exploring the huge, imaginative, bloody brilliant adventure playground. He did explore quite a bit, and had a couple of trips on the long, fast rope slide (which he fell off ON PURPOSE, cheeky monkey). Next time we go, we'll be going in when the park opens.... So overall we had a bloomin' marvellous time. I'd recommend this small-ish park to anyone, if only for the well thought out interactivity which Sam absolutely loved. Soon enough we were back in the car park under our flat, with only ten minutes before Sam was due back at mummy's. Sam amazed me with this little chat: "Daddy, I really miss the Dinosaur Park." "Me too Sam, it was good wasn't it." "Do you feel sad when you are here on your own Daddy?" "Yes I do Sam, not seeing you makes me feel sad." "I feel really sad too Daddy, when you leave me all on my own at mummy's."
He's my little, shining star. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveAnother Hectic Friday
Source: Eddie2sox With the only good thing being Sam sleeping over tonight.... Well, I had a lie-in today to half past six. In a minute I'm heading off to clean The Woolpack, from there to a four hour voluntary shift, then to pick up Sam.
Just NOT in the mood for any of it, except Sam of course.
I even mentioned it to my doctor. "I am feeling tired and unmotivated doc, and I can't help singing My My My Delilah"
"You've got Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Blimey, is that common?"
"It's not unusual....." To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveNursing Selection Day!
Source: Eddie2sox Well, tomorrow is the day when I attend my selection day for the mental health nurse diploma course.... And I am CACKING myself! A lot of people have said I should breeze through it, but you never know do you? There are English and Maths tests which I am very confident of sailing through, the whole day ends with a one to one interview, but there's a group discussion which is the bit I am not looking forward to! The subject is "Should nurses be paid as much as police officers"? Now, I have my opinions, but I am taking a wild guess that "most" of the other applicants will be school/college leavers, therefore young, and therefore probably not at all backward in coming forward! I have always believed that if you have nothing worthwhile to say, then keep your mouth shut.....so this may be my weakest part of the day....anyway, please keep your fingers and toes crossed for me all you IMM-ers and visitors....I start at 9 on Thursday morning....
Crap Parking League VI
Another day, another Vauxhall! This time a Combo van, establishing Vauxhall firmly on top of the CDL Constructors Table:
Vauxhall.....3.5 BMW.....2 VW.....1.5 Honda.....1 To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveMenagerie A Trois!
Source: Eddie2sox Who'd have thought it, seems our tame ducks are secret swingers! Sam was here for tea and bath today, and while we were playing football and frisbee outside, we spotted Crispy and Pancake, our two tame ducks who come to look in our window begging for food now and then. So we nipped in to get some bread, and walked round the corner to find......Crispy, Pancake, plus A.N Other male duck! Shock, horror! We named the new boy Hoisin, and walked over to feed them all - as you can see from the pic these ducks know us now and seem to trust us. Sam was made up about it! Sam also found what is - to him - another old-fashioned treasure. It's a nut. He wants to wash it up and keep it next to his other discovery, the ink bottle. Looks like the boy has discovered a liking for history, good eh?
I've had a very weird day, spent doing not a lot of any consequence. I brought Sam round here for his tea and he had turkey sandwiches, cut into circles with a small pastry cutter - he can't get enough of them and insists they taste better than stinky square ones. Triangle sandwiches used to be the best, but now that the circles are on the scene, the three-siders are sooooo passe, darling.
So, now my tea is cooking and smelling DELICIOUS! I've treated myself to steak, and this will be accompanied with butter-fried onions and garlic mushrooms. So unhealthy but so tasty....I'm virtually dribbling in anticipation, like a real-life Homer Simpson....mmmmmm fried onions.....
After that it's an early night after a chat with a cool chick, and hopefully many hours of uninterrupted sleep, with good dreams.
Talking of dreams, anyone know what dreaming about speed skating in a gold-lined oval track with the names of contenders for the Labour party leadership pinned to the walls means? I also dreamed about finding a huuuuuge snake under the carpet in Sam's room, which - as they always do - killed me! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveGig Review - Ladykillers @ The Woolpack
Source: Eddie2sox They used to be called The Hills, they've changed the name and the singer, but still went down well in The Woolie! Playing only their second gig as Ladykillers, 75% of The Hills (plus a newbie) performed at The Woolpack last Friday night.
Two guitars, drums and a singing bass player make a good racket at any time, and when they cover punky/indie songs - with the occasional rock and roll classic - you're on a winner.
First song was "I Predict A Riot", The Kaisers anthem, and set the scene perfectly. The first set featured C'Mon Everybody from the sixties and up to date songs from The Libertines, Green Day, The Kooks (yay!), all rattled through at breakneck speed and with loads of energy. A great performance of Blitzkrieg Bop by The Ramones went down a storm.
The Hills became Ladykillers due to the loss of their singer, so Mr Bass is doing the job while a new frontman is found. Don't hold this again them though, you wouldn't want Russell Watson singing these kind of songs would you!
Second set went by in a blur, possibly caused by musical overload or possibly by Kronenbourg over-indulgence. Highlights, and stand out songs of the evening for me, were Chelsea Dagger and When The Sun Goes Down (he's a scumbag don't you know), and I'd recommend checking this lot out as soon as you can.
And if you want to book them call Paul on 07894350002. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveCrap Parking League V
Source: Eddie2sox Mitigating circumstances? Maybe there are genuine reasons that some drivers can't fit a 1.5m car into a 2.3m parking slot?
The sun was in my eys? The road was wet and I couldn't see the lines?
Or simply "I just parked right next to the other one". A bonus of 0.5 points for each of these motors. It's fair, you get punished at school for "copying" and you get punished for the same offence in the CPL.
Table:
New Shape Mini.....2 VW Bora.....1.5 Vauxhall Vectra.....1.5 Honda Civic.....1 Vauxhall Corsa.....1
I have to admit that, stereotypically, I was expecting BIG vehicles to dominate, the likes of Range Rovers, Shoguns etc, and I admit I thought those very vehicles would have been inadequately handled by timid housewives. But Bora and Vectra? Surely businessmen's cars? So far small cars feature strongly, with ne'er a people carrier or 4X4 in sight! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveCrap Parking League IV
Source: Eddie2sox A veritable epidemic of lousy temporary vehicle abandonment today! Oh dear, don't they make the spaces big enough? Guess not when you're driving such a big car as this classic "straddle" shows....Vauxhall Corsa - "Put the fun back into parking!" Table:
New Shape Mini.....2 Honda Civic.....1 Vauxhall Corsa.....1
If you spot a bad park, snap it and email it to me trix68@hotmail.co.uk ! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveDragons Den II - The Auto Lez 3000
Source: Eddie2sox After the failure of our Lemon Pants pitch, we're back with another storming idea! Welcome to the Auto Lez 3000.
This is NOTHING to do with our lovely gay barmaid Little Miss Lemon by the way.
However, for an initial outlay of £75,000 you can have 25% of future profits. So, what is the product.....
Picture the scene....it's dinner time in the local....just a couple of punters nursing a pint in the corners....bloke walks in looking for a game of pool. Nobody to play, dammit! So he leaves to seek out opponents in other pubs, and spend his cash there too.....you, Mister Landlord, are losing out.
Introducing the Auto Lez 3000, the world's first virtual pool opponent! Based on real life character Les The Duck from The Woolpack, this machine will maximise your lone pool player revenue!
The real Les plays pool complete with a running commentary, which stretches to approximately seven phrases. The Auto Lez 3000 will scan the solo player's game and insert relevant phrases to make the punter think he has a genuine opponent!
Phrases like "I wouldn't have gone that way myself" and the original Les duck-laugh "quack-quack-quack" will persuade your customer to keep playing to try to beat their new bessie mate!
If, however, your pub is a little more "insular" and Essex accents may not be accepted, regional variations of the Auto Lez 300 are available, as follows:
Cockney: Auto Lez/Frank Butcher Edition "Pat, Paat, you ought to clean up from here Paaaaaaaaaat!"
Scouse: Auto Lez/Barry Grant From Brookside Edition "Eh, eh, eh, I've seen nothing here to frighten me yet, eh, caaaaaaalm down!"
Geordie: Auto Lez/Jimmy Nail Edition "Why aye pet, I've seen these rattle........Josh, Dad's found your scootah!"
So for all you rich businessmen who write or read here......deal or no deal? To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveCrap Parking League III
Source: Eddie2sox In with a bullet! Straight into second place comes the Honda Civic!
Bonus points must be awarded for having the front wheels at an angle, and also for the car STILL not being parked straight.....a great effort from the Japanese contenders....
Table:
New Shape Mini.....2 Honda Civic.....1
P.S. If you know any of the drivers of thesedeserted motors, don't forget to torment them mercilessly that their awful driving skills are being advertised on the World Wide Information Super Web Highway.... To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveCrap Parking League II
Source: Eddie2sox My scientific examination into whether drivers of certain types of car are more likely to be awful parkers than others This example was earlier today......another new Mini!
Storming this league already, I was expecting larger vehicles to make a show to be honest.
Table:
New Shape Mini.....2 To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveCrap Parking League I
Source: Eddie2sox You have to laugh at the way some people abandon their cars! I really enjoy seeing cars parked disgracefully in marked car parks, so I thought I'd start a league table to see if we can pinpoint the car drivers who are most likely to offend. It's limited to those I can prove with photographic evidence. Or if you spot a crap driver's motor horribly mis-parked, snap it and email me the pic.
This first one was a few days ago.....
League Table:
New Shape Mini.......1 To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveBye for a while
Source: Eddie2sox I guess even a thick-skinned, ignorant muppet gets the hint eventually! Recently I have just been upsetting and annoying people I like, whether it's online, in real life, whatever. So I'm going to take a week out from blogging to try to reduce the damage a bit. This is the last E2S blog for a while.
This week I have already forgotten to pick Sam up from nursery, albeit we had changed the day from a Tuesday to a Monday. Then tonight Sam was in tears about going back to mummy's even before we left the flat. When we arrived at her place Sam was in floods of tears, which I managed to stem before we got out of the car, but when I was leaving he was screaming "I want daddy" and crying his eyes out again.
Work's going good.
I need more sleep but so does everyone.
I have something else going on that I don't want to mention for fear of buggering it up before it even begins.
So that's it for a while, I think. Time to let "stuff" settle down a bit, or develop in its own way.
See you soon, missing you already! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveMSN Virus
Source: Eddie2sox Sorry if you know me on MSN, you probably now have a virus.... I am SO p*ssed off right now, a good mate was hit by an MSN virus which forwards to everyone in their address book. I got the virus, now everyone in my address book will too. DON'T OPEN IT! Click on CANCEL.
I am even more p*ssed off because I was writing a LONG blog about the number 505 and its significance to me and Sam since last May, and why I was actually a crap dad, Sam's mummy claiming the moral high ground, and I lost that whole entry. Can't be bothered to re-write it tonight, thoroughly annoyed, and sad that I have inadvertantly infected all my mates puters.
I am knackered too! I hope my upstairs neighbours take notice of the nice note I popped through their letterbox just after 5 this morning.
The sooner today is over the bloody better. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveLife On Mars - Stinks!
Source: Eddie2sox Just got up to start the new work pattern, feels pretty early.... Plus I just woke from a really bad dream. It was set in the seventies, like the Life On Mars TV programme, but it was all real life, and centred around the time when me and Sam's mummy split up. Very depressing.
So I'm off to work feeling tired and depressed, not a good start! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveSO! When You Look In The Mirror!
Source: Eddie2sox Is the line from "Same Jeans" by The View that Sam surprised me with yesterday.... I was previously fully aware that he knew some of the words from The View's choruses, but yesterday I caught him singing along with verses several times, not just their singles either. It turns out that his favourite song at the moment is "Gran's For Tea" which I had to play back to back a few times. "Why is he in the chippy not at his gran's house daddy?" "Why did he say leave the tools at home daddy?" "Does his grandad live with his gran Daddy?" Best of all we sang along together as we were arriving back at King's Lynn last night, MOST of Same Jeans, he loves shouting the "SO" bit in the line at the top of this blog. Of course I've had to change one line to "That STUFF'S made your head spin round", wonder what his mummy will change it to (she's borrowed the CD to find out more about these songs that Sam is always singing!).
Friday Morning....Dawned way too early, with most of Thursday evening's Kronenbourg still wreaking havoc in my head. Somehow got dressed correctly, two socks, pants NOT on head, all buttons done up, if not exactly, to within one buttonhole of where they should be. Off to The Woolie to clean - Danny and Kim were already up with GMTV blasting on the pub's big screen, and it was pretty surreal hoovering with a six foot Lorraine Kelly lurking behind your back. They don't understand why I always take a brew with me instead of making one there, guess it's just a case of "old habits die hard", in the Gulf or anywhere abroad on deployment to be honest, it was always the routine to take a cuppa with you from the mess tent/hall into work. Still using the same insulated cup even!
Chicken And Rice?
On a slight tangent, just remembered a brief tale from Kuwait. In 1998 when Saddam was getting bolshy again, we launched Operation Bolton from my then-posting of Bruggen in Germany. We'd been told at 6 p.m. on Friday that we would be departing at 4 a.m. on Sunday, pretty short notice! Saturday was full of running round getting extra innoculations, filling in paperwork, picking up extra protective eqiuipment etc, so we didn't have much time for goodbyes to our families. Anyway, we flew into Kuwait International then got bussed (and the bus was deathly quiet) to Ali Al Salem airbase which was to be our base. First thing when we got there we were directed to the mess hall, and ambled in to be greeted by extremely cheerful RAF chefs yelling "Chicken and rice lads?" It was LOVELY, and whether it was because we were starving hungry or whether it really was a gourmet offering who knows? The night was spent getting security briefings, finding bunk spaces, the usual, then it was breakfast time. "Chicken and rice lads?" What? Well, last night's was great, so no complaints that we'd have more of the same for brekkie eh! Lunch was delayed due to being stuck in an air raid shelter after a SCUD attack, but when we finally emerged....."chicken and rice lads?" Uhhh....OK. Got a job lot of chicken did you? This continued for OVER A WEEK! Chicken and rice for every meal. It was nice, but you might think a little monotonous. Then, exactly a week after we arrived...."Evening lads, got something different for you tonight!" FANTASTIC! What is it? "Sorry you've had chicken and rice for so long, so tonight you've got a treat......rice and chicken" Oh ha bloody ha! Eventually the caterers sorted out some contracts with reliable local traders and The Sun newspaper shipped in tons of baked beans, oven chips etc, so the monotony was over. Happy days, being shot at in the desert!
Friday Afternoon & EveningPicked Sam up and Friday evening was completely in the usual routine, fun playing outside and in, chip butty for Sam's tea, lovely bedtime which saw Sam falling asleep before his stories had even finished. Maybe burning that lavender in his room and the living room really worked in making him sleepy? Then it was left for me to retire to the settee for the Friday night comedy, which is pretty good at the moment, My Family (cheesy but harmless), Have I Got News For You (Paul Merton's a star), Ruddy Hell It's Harry & Paul (parson's egg of a show), then it's 10 o'clock and time to take Sam to the loo then hit the hay myself.
Saturday MorningSam must have been tired, or I overdid the lavender oil, but he didn't appear in my room until half past six, unheard of! Sam started the day as he meant to go on, eating like a horse, big breakfast of Coco Pops, a banana and two yoghurts. Saturday morning is all about relaxing together, watching a little bit of telly, inventing new games and revisiting old favourites. Sam has dismantled most of his Lego sets now, and is really starting to use his imagination and make new, crazy vehicles out of the pieces - it's fascinating to see and makes me very proud at the same time, my son! After Hider In The House and Scooby Doo we headed into town to check if Sam's Lego Fire Station has arrived at the toy shop yet? No it hadn't, but Sam took the news very graciously. We had a naughty donut from the donut van then came home via the Globe Bowls Club, where we like to watch the blokes jacking off to start the games then tossing their balls across the green. At the moment, thanks to The Walks renovations, there are several long banks of dug-up earth in the park, which Sam enjoys exploring and running along (well, so does Sam's Daddy but don't tell anyone) and yesterday we found an old bottle that had been unearthed by a digger. We later asked Sam's Grandad what it was and it seems to be an old ink bottle, with the following on the base: F G C 2 3 1 4 Does that mean anything to anyone? Sam was quite interested, so who knows, this may have been the moment when he subconciously became an archaeologist of the future?
Saturday AfternoonWe made Sam's picnic dinner then set off for Sleaford. On the way into the underground car park we noticed something funny. The key-post for the car park was knocked over a few weeks ago and Roy The Caretaker has re-embedded it in concrete. Well, "somebody" has written "SAM" in the concrete (see picture), and it's now there for eternity (or until the post gets mullered again). How naughty! We had a lovely visit with Nana and Grandad, my Dad is looking fitter now than for a while which is great to see. Sam loved being pushed round the garden at high speed in a wheelbarrow, racing behind Didi the dog, but I tell you what, Sam's Daddy is getting TOO old for it! Sam is really chatty with his grandparents, which they seem to love, and he gives them both a big lovely cuddle when we have to leave. Which of course we eventually did, Sam wasn't too happy about it but was looking forward to his special tea... ...which was MacDonalds! We hadn't been to MacD's since March 10th so it was about time. How do I know the date? Well, I write down in my diary every meal that Sam has when he's with me. It's because Sam's mummy was very critical of the diet Sam received from me - so now he mainly has food made from scratch by me or healthy shop stuff - except chip butty Friday of course (which was a routine established by his mummy LOL). Monday to Friday, when Sam's not with me, he has all his other meals at nursery, breakfast, dinner and tea, and they provide generally healthy food too. The only day Sam's mummy has to feed him is on a Sunday, so maybe criticism is a little misplaced eh? Anyhow, I digress, Sam enjoyed his Happy Meal immensely, and we reached home at quarter to five. Sam was in and out of the bath quickly so we could have playtime and watch the first part of You've Been Framed.
Now. These days on Saturday Sam has to be home at 6. That's fine but it puts pressure on us on a Saturday afternoon. If we attend any kind of organised event we are really pushing it, as we have to drive, more than likely, 45 minutes to get home from an event that probably ends in the late afternoon anyway. Then it's tea and bathtime too, while trying to make the last of our time together happy and fun. Days like yesterday are more manageable. However, Sam's favourite programme (You've Been Framed) is usually showing at 6. Yesterday was no different, it was on from 5.40 to 6.40, so we could only watch ten minutes before heading off to mummy's house. I had to reassure Sam that Mummy "might" let him watch it there, but he didn't buy into that story and insisted "I'm NOT going, I am staying here with you Daddy!" We DID make it back to Mummy's nearly on time in the end, and again Sam's last words were "I want to come with you Daddy". Another tough one.
Saturday Evening
Well I got home and legged it to The Woolpack. Got there at quarter to seven, came home quarter to eight. Couple of calming pints, lovely. Last night was Vonny's birthday party, so the preparations were in progress and folk started arriving in their party clothes (Chanie and Georgie looking particularly bodacious). However, the BIG story of the night was the charity pool competition that is happening on Sunday 27 May. Apparently, during one of the usual "Us lot not in the pool team could beat you lot" debates, someone came up with the idea of putting their money where their mouth is and a formal challenge was made. This has now mushroomed into a four team tournament, but I'll make a separate blog for such an important event..... So, it was home and Eurovision was on, hoorah! Usually our family has a BBQ and party on Eurovision night, with a £1 a go sweepstake. The sting in the tail being that the winner of the sweepstake, as well as pocketing £30-odd hosts the next year's party. This year we gave it a miss, as it was so close to Grandad's big party a couple of weeks ago. This year's Eurovision was just as funny as ever, it seems to me that the countries are gradually moving towards more bizarre entries each year, long may it continue! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveBanjoes, bonus balls and boxers....
Source: Eddie2sox On international sandwich variations, a Dragon's Den failure, the word "pish", and other follies Lunchtime
Yesterday being Thursday was my relaxing day, and did I relax! Was working first thing, and enjoyed a little lie-in because from next week I'll be getting up at 5 each day. So I took my usual amble for a lunchtime pint or two, and all was good in the world. Took on the Itbox, ended up losing 5-3 but that's not too bad. Les The Duck was in good form despite only having 3 hours sleep in the last three days, and even Tim, King Of Flirting finished work early enough to make it for a beer and a chat. The usual horde of students from the college next door piled in and ordered 5 drinks between the 128 of 'em, but they liven the place up if nothing else. And then two of the chavviest kids I have EVER seen arrived, sky blue burberry baseball cap, bowl haircut, KNITTED duffel coat (!!!!), humungous combat pants and tracky bottoms, enormous Argos gold chains, hilarious. To our joint disgust one of them walked up to the bar and pulled out a massive wad of notes to pay for their drinks - we asked him how he earned his money and he said he worked on the land - YEAH RIGHT! So he got constant stick from thereon, about how OUR taxes paid for HIS pool and booze etc. Bloody chavs.....KNITTED duffel coat!
I headed home after an hour with a promise to be back for GOM Club later, and predicting that Les, Tim and Pompey Danny (new landlord, married to Kim, the new landlady) would still be in the same places propping up the bar when I returned. For the record, Danny 7-balled Scottish twice this dinner time - in consecutive games. He didn't have to drop 'em and do a lap though, he was excused on the grounds that he was drunk AND that he always drops 'em when OTHER people get 7-balled as well. As I am his official legal representation, I was happy to see him keeping the boys in the barracks for a change.
Evening
They were still there! Well, Tim wasn't but the other two were. Along with a surprisingly large crowd, business seems to have been building up a bit recently. I took time out to thank Stevie and Barney for their help last year when I was really on my uppers emotionally, when they took time then to tell me things will get better etc, and introduced me to the Sad Dad Club motto of "It's a bullsh*t life!" Sometimes, isn't it just.
And so the Grumpy Old Men convened, no sign of Old Bob though which is a bit unusual and worrying, so I inducted Pompey Danny as a new member (he wasn't impressed, boo hoo). Genial Jock Gerry and Scottish George somehow turned the chat round to sandwiches - or as they say in their native Jockanese "pieces". A ham piece being a ham sandwich - get the picture? Sooooo....this sparked an interesting debate along the bar. It began with "crisp pieces" which we apparently don't do "down here" (oh yes we do), and progressed to some cholesterol-laden Scottish creations, in particular the "big piece" which is actually a deep fried pizza folded in two and dripping with unhealthiness. The two sweaties had a faraway look in their eyes as they whispered - virtually in harmony - "Noooooow THAT'S a man's piece....." With a quick diversion into teacake/breadcake/bap/roll territory (by the way a tea cake does NOT have currants, a breadcake DOES), I mentioned the classic fried egg sandwich, which I know as an Egg Banjo. Nobody else had heard that phrase - except Scottish. He was also in the RAF like me, so it obviously seems that egg banjo is a military phrase. Gypsy Rose Bwana told us of the similar sounding "bonjee" which he ate in South Africa, which was a half a bread loaf with the bread scooped out and filled with a kind of stew. So....banjo/bonjee, maybe the egg banjo has it's roots in the dark continent? The "scooping the middle out" theme was also confirmed to exist in Scotland......but they probably fill it with deep fried Mars Bars and Irn Bru?
Incidentally, I gained bonus points for the correct use of the word "pish" in two different contexts. Genial Gerry is very proud of his introduction of "pish" into The Woolpack and therefore wider King's Lynn society, as he believes it is the ultimately versatile word. I correctly stated that Scottish George was pished, and that I got soaked earlier with a sudden downpour, when it pished it down. Hoorah for me, multi-lingual at last.
In a welcome move, the Bonus Ball lottery has been introduced, at £2 a pop it's a spicy meatball, but the potential winnings are £98 a week, So look out for the bonus ball being 33 from now on, it's my lucky number.
From now on, the barmaid previously known as Sue will be known as Little Miss Lemon (LML). It's partly that that the Little Miss characters were all cute and funny, and partly about sexuality. So. Little |
