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Home > Blogs > Norfolk Single Dad > Posted in April 2007 Norfolk Single DadPosted in April 2007A slice of English life in all its glory, through the eyes of a 39 year-old single dad and his amazing 4 year-old son.... After The Party...
Source: Eddie2sox When me and Sam got in the car we were both pretty upset, Sam cos he wanted to stay and play, me I don't know why.... But we got in, I asked Sam what we wanted on the stereo ("The View") so we drove home to the sound of Dundee's finest.
I've just got off the phone to Sam's Nana and Grandad. The party was a complete success for them, so all of Lou and Kay's hard work has been SOOO worthwhile. It was such a good occasion. My dad deserves it. At one point I heard him confide in my Uncle Barry "All these people here, they're all here because of me". He's right. Six children, thirteen grandchildren, Errrrm umpteen great-grandchildren so far. My dad, what a man! Happy Birthday Dad!
So back to mummy's. On the way into King's Lynn Sam cried again, "I want to sleep at our flat Daddy". Very hard to hear. I'd tried to make the trip home fun - photos etc - and we noticed that the Sun and Moon were both out at the same time which tickled Sam. Me and Sam had a REALLY close huggle (hug and cuddle) before I left.
So homeward, and I went to The Woolpack from 9 until 1045, an hour more than last week! Just what I needed. Got to the bar - gasping. Alongside were Colin, Timkof, and Les The Duck. Amazingly THEY all got served ahead of me, cheeky sods! We had a good moan like Grumpy Old Men do. Some peeps tried to take the mickey about Super Leeds being relegated. Ho hum. Georgie The Sexy Single Mum popped in looking agitated. I headed home to watch Match Of The Day.
Aftermath
Well, the reason Georgie TSSM was looking agitated was because there was trouble afoot! A Woolpack regular, currently with a broken arm (one arm in a sling) was jumped by three cars full of chavs (14 or 15 of them). Georgie and Channie tried to help. The end result was Channie being head-butted and Georgie being thrown onto the road in front of the traffic.
We asked why the girls didn't pop into the pub to mention what was going on. Similar happened last summer, and when 6 of us hairy-assed old men turned out to help, the "aggressors" weren't seen for dust. Apparently, the names of some of last night's attackers are known. Good! It's a matter of time before a few cars arrive outside their home and rag them out. For the record, I will NOT be involved, and nor will any of my mates. But justice will be done!
To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink above Grandad's Party
Source: Eddie2sox A huge family gathering, which was quite awesome A surprise party was arranged for my dad's birthday this year, and it was GREAT! We all gathered at the ATC hut in Sleaford, and most of the family were there. Fantastic. Should I attempt a cast list? Probably not as I don't know or would get most names wrong.
So, me dad and mum were chauffeured into the car park by nephew Dean, and Dad emerged from the car waving to the adoring masses like a red carpet regular. There was a "Happy Birthday" banner stuck across the door, so Dad had to cut it with scissors in the official way! He headed up to the top table with me mum, and our Uncle Barry and Auntie Val (who still looks EXACTLY how she did 30 years ago when we used to gather at their house in Lincoln to play "Newmarket" at Christmas time).
Sam was a bit overawed by the sheer number of kids about the same age as him! Most of them have been in school for a year or two as well, and have gained more social behaviour than Sam, who sometimes found it a bit upsetting. Like when someone wouldn't klet him play with his football on his own. But Sam will get into school and gain the confidence to play with big groups of our family! He's only three after all, and he did join in most of the games, especially the "let's all sit on Cousin Chris' back" one. I think poor old Chris may be aching a bit today! Sam DID seem to be popular though, he is my rising star after all. When it was time to eat "The Feast" was uncovered......a Chinese takeaway for 200, or so it seemed....lovely! I arranged a few items on a Scooby-Doo plate for Sam, along with some rice....he didn't like the taste. He DID try it all though, what a good lad! I didn't like Chinese takeaway food until I was about 12, so it's not much of a surprise. So then I brought the "emergency" spaghetti bolognaise from the car and Sam tucked in heartily. He even shouted to Grandad at the top table to tell him what he was eating! I raided the buffet Chinese and piled up my plate, lovely!
Sam was REALLY sociable at this party, and was in and out (mainly out) playing with his relatives all the time. It were great to see him running round with the other nippers, I hope there are many more meetings like it in the coming years so they can grow up knowing each other. Sam did have a few crying moments, mainly because he's used to a VERY supervised and ordered nursery environment, but he did enjoy the whole thing a lot!
We gathered round to watch Grandad cut his birthday cake, and we all sang Happy Birthday, and the Grandad made a little speech which was curtailed when he seemed to be all emotional. Don't blame me Dad, I would too in the circumstances. Then it was time for photos. About 20 years ago there was a photo taken of ALL my Dad's grandchildren, and that picture was recreated yesterday. But with Sam in it as well, held by his Daddy, sorry if I ruined your pics. Sam was included as he's the latest, and probably last, addition to the Grandchildren. Then we had a "parents and children" photo, and then we had to do a runner. It was nearly half past seven, and there was a time limit (albeit a loose one) on Sam getting back to Mummy's.
I felt SO pissed off when we were leaving, and Sam was crying because he wanted to stay and play with his newest friends. VERY depressing. It's tragic that the way MY life has panned out is affecting Sam's life, this was a really good, or bad, example. So we were both pretty fed-up and upset. I carried Sam back into the hut to say goodbye, and he yelled it at top volume.....I don't think either of us were prepared for the barrage of "Bye Bye Sam"s that came back.....everyone in the room must have shouted it. *pause.....getting a bit emotional*.......so then we got back in the car together. I was on the verge of crying, how gay! So I asked Sam what he wanted to listen to in the car. Sam said "The View" so we turned the volume up and headed homeward. I was soooooo sad to be leaving before the end of the party, but circumstances mean we have to......
I had put my photo albums in the car to show people at the party - but forgot! However, on the drive back, Sam asked to have a look at them. We had a nice time, Sam laughing at some photos (him with his head in the washing machine in particular), asking lots of questions about some, and getting honest answers. He saw some photos of Tim The Cat, who is still alive at Mummy's house, with another cat. I had to explain that the other cat was called Tawnie and was Tim's mummy, but she had been very poorly and was in heaven. Sam cried. For Tawnie, a cat he'd never even seen. He said "I want Tawnie to be here now". What can you say? I just reassured Sam that Tawnie was now very happy living in cat heaven and catching 10 mice every day.
Sam had such fun looking at the pictures. I am so glad I've been taking so many photos of him and me, it will be a beautiful record of his childhood. He looked through the album twice, and cried again when he saw the pictures of Tawnie. So we had a lively and mainly happy drive back to King's Lynn. Eventually we arrived outside mummy's house. We had a lovely last cuddle then Sam walked into the house crying.
Fantastic party. Loads of leftover food, I wish I'd smuggled a few cartons into me boot! Happy-ish drive home.
When me and Sam have our best days together are the worst times to take him back there. Last night was THE worst time for a very long time.....(pic is the first High Five me and Sam ever did). To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveHit The Bottle?
Source: Eddie2sox A visit to The Woolpack doesn't really sort things out.... I certainly would never hit the bottle, because I can't stand spirits, and wine is a fruit-based drink for the lady. But instead of hitting the bottle, grasping the pint glass is perfectly acceptable. I headed out to The Woolie with enough money for four beers - it's sensible planning!
I was immediately bombarded with reports of the Super Leeds result earlier, the pitch invasion (I know, two mates texted me when it was going on), how "we" can come back, etc. Leeds United aren't down for sure, but it's impossible they can with 8-0 away at championship-chasing Derby. So it's Division Three (in old money) for the mighty white gods. I think I might go to a few more matches actually, been going to 3 or 4 a season recently, but games at new for me (and shambolic, crappy) grounds holds a fascination. Super Leeds are down. The rest of the football world can rejoice. But do you prefer games against nobodies like Watford / Wigan / Reading / Sheff U ? To be honest, having Ken Bates in charge is crazy, but nobody else would step in. Then appointing Dennis Boz-Eyed Wise as manager (Bates is Wise's kid's godfather!) smacks of nepotism.
Anyway. I am much less upset about this relegation than the one in 1982! Guess that age and not going to so many games helps soften the blow. I know there are a lot of Whites around right now in pieces - please don't ridicule them, buy them a pint!
So to the main meaning of my day, Sam! Sam appeared in Daddy's bed about 3 a.m. today, and slept pretty well for a change. At one point he was having a fun dream and was laughing his head off - woke me up but who cares! How lucky am I as a parent to be there when their child is giggling and laughing while they're asleep? We bounced out of bed, Sam breakfasted on Multi-Grain Rice Krispies (he asked for them last night!), Daddy had scrambled egg.
We headed into town to see if the ordered Lego set had arrived - NO! So we consoled ourselves with a donut and a new football from Poundland (All Hail Poundland). Bought Grandad's birthday present in the bookshop, Sam picked the wrapping paper (Charlie & Lola, sure Grandad will appreciate it). Home, picnic dinner out the back, played football, Sam's favourite teddy came too (Sambear), and what with watching the trains go past, all was well with the world.
And so to planning for Grandad's party - we embarked on Sam's favourite activity at the moment - making a list! Such a practical chap, even at 3 years old! We eventually took Sam's bike, new football, two photo albums, emergancy spaghetti bolognaise meal (in case Sam didn't like the Chinese feast), plus the items that would be needed back at mummy's.
And so to the party.......see next thread. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink above Saturday Night!
Source: Eddie2sox It is completely and utterly crushing to come home to the flat without my son on Saturday nights.... And that's all I want to say about it. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveFriday Afternoon
Source: Eddie2sox Off to pick up Sam from nursery in an hour, it's all good! Yesterday was Daddy's day off, and a jolly good day off it was too! Did the early cleaning and was finished by noon, so popped up The Woolpack for a convivial dinner-time pint. And of course a duel with the It-Box. The new landpeople (is that the plural of landlord and landlady?) are settling in quite happily, and I find myself in the weird position of being asked for local information. Where's the best baker? How long to drive from "here" to "here" etc. It's strange as I've only lived here myself for 16 months and am very much an outsider.
I treated myself to spicy chicken wings for tea, really unhealthy but really, REALLY tasty, and easy-peasy to make! Just cook the wings through for 25 minutes, add the sauce (I picked Discovery New York Buffalo Wings Sauce, £1.49 from Tesco!) for half an hour, then bob's yer uncle. Delicious but very messy eating!
Popped back to The Woolie for 3 pints and to join the Thursday convening of the Grumpy Old Men (I consider myself one), and the topic of the day turned out to be wildlife and nature, and how nice it was seeing wild animals and birds around the place you live. SS Roy (SS standing for stainless steel, by the way, he's not a war criminal hiding out in Norfolk) reported the sad news that hedgehogs frequently meet their maker when they fall into his pool and can't get out - and apparently they STINK! The dead hedgies get returned to nature by means of being catapulted into the woods off the end of a shovel - how organic! Old Bob told us how he nearly lost his Staffie Ossie in the woods when he spotted a huge stag and chased after him. And Gipsy Rose Baron Stewart Bwana-McPhee told us of a weird animal from South Africa (can't remember the name right now) which is a herbivore BUT they attack other animals just for fun. Kind of like the Lesser-Crested Chav I suppose. So it was home at 7 and a relaxed evening MSN-ing and watching rubbish TV, lovely!
Friday dawns! Off to do some cleaning as per usual, then realised I had an appointment and had to leave early. Left a note for the boss explaining and saying he ought to pay me for half an hour less, but he came in before I left and said that he'd pay the full amount, nice one Danny! Zoomed off to the appointment, all went well, blood pressure's super, pulse is fine and dandy, hoorah! And from there into town to buy birthday cards, lottery tickets, Lynn News etc. Humdrum stuff, but that's what most of our life is like right?
Now it's nearly time to collect Sam, tomorrow is Grandad's BIG birthday party! Tonight though is chip butty night, although I suspect Sam may go for a pie as well, he LOVED the one he had last week. Full report tomorrow of course, but for now, Diagnosis Murder calls!!!
By the way, the photo is one I took earlier today on the way into town - King's Lynn's got some good points eh? To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveThe Ducks Have Names!
Source: Eddie2sox We walked round the flats earlier looking for them....Sam was shouting their names....."CRISPY! PANCAKE!......what are you laughing at Daddy?" The boy duck is now known as Crispy, his lady-friend is Pancake. I really wish I could have recorded us wandering around looking for them yelling their names at top volume.....needless to say we didn't find them. We've decided they go to the river during the day and come back here at night for some bread and a photoshoot.
On a different note, today I was offered a fulltime job (yay). Naturally I turned it down as it starts at the end of June and I (hopefully) start nursing training in September. When I went for the interview a few weeks ago I got on sooooo well with the husband and wife who run the company, that lying about my future was simply not an option, and I told the lady that when she phoned earlier. Buggrit millenium hand and shrimp! Being honest is crap sometimes. Thinking positively, I WAS offered a job! That's got to be a plus. If the nursing doesn't happen, maybe there will be other jobs! Anyone need a permanent housekeeper (male) and offering about 20k a year?????
Now, still on a job-theme, but with a pinch of mumbo-jumbo thrown in. I really don't believe in horoscopes at all - so why I ritually read the daily email that Russell Grant spams me with I don't know! However, my forecast for tomorrow reads thus;
"Undergoing a career change could result in more money for you. Don't worry if you have to take a pay cut in the short term. Your love for this field will cause you to rise quickly up the ladder of success. There's a chance your new job will involve research, rehabilitation, or restoration. Alternatively, you may get involved with an educational or cultural organisation. No matter what this work entails, it will require the development of strong leadership skills."
So! How close is that to mental healthcare?! I guess my current situation must be the pay cut bit. It's almost enough to convince you to believe in all that cobblers, but not quite! However....my voluntary colleague Steve, who persuaded me to go for the nursing, told me something very weird last week. When he started nursing in the Fermoy Unit (mental health) here in King's Lynn, there were six male nurses there - every one of them was a Pisces! Then he asked me what star sign I was.........PISCES! Now you have to admit that THAT is a massive co-incidence! Pisceans are supposedly sensitive and caring individuals.... To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveLick My Love Pump!
Source: Eddie2sox Well, the fuddy-duddies at KLFM wouldn't even read my suggestion for their competition today.... ....I helpfully offered "Lick My Love Pump" by Spinal Tap, which they said was rude. How wrong can one man and a foxy chick with a cute behind be? VERY wrong is the answer!
Lick My Love Pump is a beautiful piece of classical music which Nigel Tufnel has been working on "for a while now".
Judge for yourselves: lickmylovepump
While we're at it, check out how loud Spinal Tap's amps are here: onelouder
Right, time to go a-cleaning! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink abovePet Ducks!
Source: Eddie2sox Regular readers will know that me and Sam have been concerned about the ducks' weird behaviour recently..... It culminated when we spotted a male and female pair wandering past our window one evening, just as Sam was about to go to bed. We decided to feed them, and lobbed a few slices of bread out of the window......Sam LOVED it....
Well. Tonight, as we were about to head off to Sam's mum's house, we spotted a duck ambling around the car park....Sam tried to get it to come to him "Here, duckie duckie duckie....!!!!" but it wouldn't.
And just now, as I was putting my blinds down, I almost jumped through the ceiling when I looked out of the window that we had fed the ducks out of, and heard a hearty QUAAAAAAAAAAACK! The couple were back! Who says they're dumb animals!? So I lobbed a few more slices out (they didn't back off even a step when I opened the window), and took the attached photo - apologies about the quality, it was almost dark when I took it.
Ducks, we love 'em! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveSalt & Vinegar World Cup
Source: Eddie2sox The first three ties have been completed over the last three days, here are the details so far on England's Premier sodium chloride & acetic acid-based savoury snack knockout tournament...... Salt & Vinegar World Cup 2007 Rules Matches will be decided on the basis of comparing: 1 - Crispness 2 - Flavour 3 - Size of crisp 4 - Aroma 5 - Packaging 6 - More-ish-ness (don't think that's a real word) Each will score from 1 to 5 points, highest score savoury snack wins. Round One The Real McCoys Ridge Cut Salt & Malt Vinegar 20 : 14 Snack A Jacks Salt & Vinegar Walkers Salt & Vinegar 21 : 22 Seabrook Sea Salt & Vinegar Walkers Squares Salt & Vinegar 16 : 21 Pringles Salt & Vinegar Tesco Crunchy Sticks Salt & Vinegar v Walkers Baked Salt & Vinegar Tesco Twirls Salt & Vinegar v Tesco Salt & Vinegar Tesco Finest Sea Salt & West Country Cider Vinegar v Morrisons Salt & Vinegar Byes: Discos Salt & Vinegar, Kettle Chips Sea Salt & Balsamic Vinegar
Round Two Kettle Chips Sea Salt & Balsamic Vinegar v Discos Salt & Vinegar Tesco Finest Sea Salt & West Country Cider Vinegar OR Morrisons Salt & Vinegar v Seabrook Sea Salt & Vinegar Pringles Salt & Vinegar v Tesco Crunchy Sticks Salt & Vinegar OR Walkers Baked Salt & Vinegar The Real McCoys Ridge Cut Salt & Malt Vinegar v Tesco Twirls Salt & Vinegar OR Tesco Salt & Vinegar Semi-Finals TBN
Final TBN To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveSunday Shenanigans
Source: Eddie2sox Just another manic Sunday Started the day with the cleaning and washing up and hoovering, the boring stuff, before a surprise! Our IMM Blog colleague Dewdrop was on MSN, and we arranged to go and take her dog Gemma for a walk at Sandringham. Dew picked me up at half ten, and we wandered merrily round the Queen's back garden for 45 minutes with Gemma usually leading the way. Gentlemen, may I recommend Dewdrop to you, what a yummy mummy, you MUST make an effort where this young lady is concerned! The bloke who ends up with her will be a lucky man indeed. Sooooo......back to KL..... Bimbled up to The Woolie, and found out that there was a BBQ on in the evening. Even in the early afternoon there were more people than usual in the bar.....including Les The Duck, Tony, and Carl Bumfluff. Well.....Les' other half is currently on holiday with his daughter and grand-daughter, so poor old Les is fending for himself. He informed us that he was having steak for tea, and to save electricity was defrosting it in his tumble dryer along with drying the washing. NOOOOOOO! We figured that the buffeting around would not only defrost it but tenderise it too, maybe too much. It may have ended up 3mm thick and 3 metres in diameter. But at least it would come out smelling "spring fresh" - his undercrackers would be smelling of cow though. Of course this was all wishful thinking, but fun anyway, even Les isn't daft enough to do something like that....mind you..... ....As an aside to my Sunday, I have to report on possibly THE greatest marketing campaign EVER. Les, one day, went into The Globe for a pint. As he approached the bar he heard a mooing sound, a definite cow noise.....bought his pint, drank it, up to the bar again. Once more, "Moooooooooooo, mooooooooooooooooooo". Les is now thinking there is a subtle influence at work on him to buy a steak (they were two for the price of one at the time)......but resisted temptation. NEXT trip to the bar.... "Moooooooooooooooooo, mooooooooooooooooooo". Les was now fascinated by the skilful advertising he was being bombarded with! He checked the floor for pressure pads that might trigger the mooing. He checked under the edge of the bar for pads that he might have set off. He had a look to see if there were infre-red beams to break. Nothing. What a mystery, but HOW clever! Later that day he spoke to his daughter on a landline. She asked "Do you like it?" "Like WHAT" asked Les. "Your new ringtone, I put a cow ringtone on your phone......" DOH! What Les mistook for ingenious advertising was in fact his daughter calling his mobile phone - pure coincidence that she called the three times he went to the bar. That's Les for you...... Anyway.....had one beer then home for dinner (chilli), then out again to watch football. The Newcastle/Chelsea game wasn't on (why?) so had to wait for Villa/Portsmouth. By this time Tim (King Of Flirting) had arrived, and I was annoyed to hear that someone has stolen his car from his drive. Tossers! Fortunately it's not affecting his work as colleagues are giving him lifts etc, but come on! The police say they are doubtful of a positive outcome - same as with my two stolen bikes then, do they EVER have a "positive outcome"? Probably not, too busy parking Norfolk's 11 (yes ELEVEN) mobile speed camera vehicles all over the place to snap people speeding! Anyhow, Timkof isn't too bothered either way, the insurance was up to date so it's not a complete tragedy. Worst part of it being that all his beloved Pink Floyd CDs were in the vehicle too. Bugger. Tim's a laid back bloke though, actually in my opinion a TOP bloke, so I hope he doesn't have too much stress over this. Ladies, if you're looking for a bloke let me know, and I'll pass your details on! The rest of the afternoon passed most cordially, Scottish cooked the BBQ food (I passed, reluctantly, having already eaten dinner), and I headed home about 7-ish. Apparently the party went on for a long, long time.....and judging by the state of the pub this morning when I went to clean it, it were a good do! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveBanham Zoo
Source: Eddie2sox We had a really fun day out at Banham Zoo on Saturday, so much so that Sam was upset afterwards.... Off to the zoo at quarter past ten, and Sam ate most of his pickernicker then nodded off on the way. Good, he'll be full of beans when we get there....Parked and had the rest of our dinner then we're off! Banham Zoo is a really nice "small" zoo, and it cost £10.95 for the two of us. They have most of the usual zoo animals you could want to see, except elephants and lions. They do have tigers, assorted monkeys, meerkats, cheetahs, zebras etc, and giraffes are arriving in the summer.
Best of all from Sam's point of view is the playground, with obstacle course, roundabout (a proper, heavy, fast, old-fashioned one), and huuuuge climbing tower with two curly slides, and we spent ages in there in between circuits of the enclosures. Sam also loved the zoo train, which has been re-painted this year - it was zebra patterned last year, now it's a tiger train!
Second favourite was the Farm Barn, where you can feed goats, chickens etc, and stroke all the animals in there. PLUS there are lots of big old farm machines dotted around AND an old tractor that you can sit on and play on - heaven for my little boy. Sam wasn't SO impressed with the amount of goat pooh we trod in when we went to see the goats, but we had a good laugh about it later.
The zoo was a great day out and I really recommend it. Sam loved it so much that as we walked out of the gates to go home he started crying and saying "I miss the zoo, I love the zoo".....and then roughly every 20 minutes after that his little face would crease up and he'd blub "Daddy, I really miss the zoo"....
We got lost on the way home and ended up driving round for half an hour trying to find a place - ANY place - with signposts! Sam thought the phrase "we're in the middle of nowhere" was very funny, but let's face it, most of Norfolk is the middle of nowhere! We made light of our adversity though, and had a singalong to The View, "Same Jeans" changing at intervals to "Same Socks", "Same Shoes" or "Same Pants", sometimes our time in the car, coming or going here and there, is some of our best time together.
And so back to mummy's (see previous entry!)....all in all another great day, with a crappy ending.
When I got home I decided to pop to the Woolpack, and was there for 45 minutes! I had a pleasant chat with Gerry, The Nicest Jock You'll Ever Meet (TNJYEM) about stereotypes and the word "pish", and sure enough one of the jockanese contractors at the far end of the bar immediately went into stereotype, irritating Rab C Nesbitt mode! "You can buy lager for £1.60 in Dundee" etc. It peed me off so much that I made my goodbyes and left! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveMake Your Chuffin Mind Up!
Source: Eddie2sox Just a quick rant about Sam's mum's attitude so that I can go out later still in the good mood that me and Sam were in earlier....aka "Am I Bothered".... Please, NO comments on this thread!
Last year what happened tonight would have peed me off for three days, now I just need to spout off about it here and it'll be gone for good.
For the last "umpteen" weeks, on a Saturday night Sam's mum has said on the phone or texted, something along the lines of "don't rush back, no need to hurry" etc. Tonight she went off at the deep end about Sam arriving back at half past six, instead of the agreed six o'clock. She'll freely admit to being a melodramatic drama queen, so these kind of "performances" don't really surprise me any more.
Anyhow, I told her that she ought to decide whether it was the easy-going approach or the back on the dot of six option that she wanted, then stick to it, not swap between the two and throw a strop about it. Cue a really angry, "lost it", SIX O'CLOCK FROM NOW ON! Fine, just don't take out your personal problems or woman's problems on me thanks!
Maybe we ought to adopt the "standard" approach that the parent "taking on" the children picks them up, instead of me picking up AND dropping off?
Anyway, that's that out of my system, nothing but fantastic memories of another fantastic day with my fantastic son remain!
I'm NOT bothered! Manipulate someone else!
P.S Late Breaking News
I've had three emails on this subject received from Sam's mum between 6.20 and 7.57 tonight. Sent one back saying "I don't want to enter a slanging match with you, please take out your problems on someone else. Simon"
P.P.S.
Fourth email at 9.38! Wow. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveWe're All Going To The Zoo Tomorrow....
Source: Eddie2sox Zoo tomorrow, zoo tomorrow, we're all going to the zoo tomorrow, we're gonna chuck condoms at the chimps..... Well, of course we're not, what a waste of condoms! And Sam would think they were balloons, probably. But we ARE going to the zoo, Banham Zoo in fact, and the excitement level is already high! More than anything else, Sam wants to ride on the train that's painted like a zebra....
The last couple of days have flown by in an absolute blur:
Tuesday was early cleaning, then Goodwins Road for 3 hours, visit to see Mark at CADS, then picked Sam up for tea and bathtime.
Wednesday. Early cleaning, and then I decided to put that day's job at Harecroft Gardens back a day to enjoy the hot sunny weather. A good idea as it turned out. Picked Sam up again from nursery and we had BBQ for tea using a one-shot barby from Tesco. The food was tremendous, even if I do say so myself, and Sam loved the novelty of eating his tea outside, sitting on our sun lounger with his Daddy. He also loved playing with his cars outside (see pic, naturally Lightning McQueen won every race), and thoroughly enjoyed our running grass-chucking competition. There was nearly as much grass in the bath as water. In the evening I met my ex at Sam's nursery for parents' evening, and were hosted by the delectable Shelley. Shelley adores Sam, and he loves her too, so it's no surprise that he's making really good progress. I think they will really miss each other when Sam starts school in September.
Thursday. No Sam today but LOADS of Mrs Mopp-ing. The usual two Thursday places plus Wednesday's too. All of a sudden not such a bright idea, ho hum. Got finished just in time to pop to The Woolpack to catch the end of the monthly lunchtime jamming session, when students from the college next door get to practice their music in a "real pub" and not their mum and dad's garage. I had a very relaxed afternoon (actually fell asleep!), before heading out again to find The Woolpack almost full. Strange for Thursday teatime. The Grumpy Old Men were consigned to a bench seat as the regular haunt at the end of the bar was taken, how VERY dare you! World put to rights as always, then home to my luvverly big bed.
Friday. Planned a lie-in but forgot the cleaning continues Monday to Friday at the moment, buggrit. So I had to rush from there for my 10 til 2 voluntary shift. Today this was extremely quiet, which is a good thing I suppose. I'd just had time to grab my mail before I left, and then when I arrived my "colleague" had swapped shifts and I was on with "Steve", who is the bloke who kind of convinced me to go into mental health nursing. He asked when the training was going, I told him that I hadn't even heard about interviews yet.....then I opened my mail and COR BLIMEY, there was the info about the interview and selection day!
Thursday 24th of May. That's when I will be attending the selection day. And NOW I am worried about it! There are literacy and maths tests, a group discussion that you have to research AND join in with ("Should nurses be paid as much as police officers?"), and then in the afternoon the one to one interviews. Poohing me pants already.
Picked Sam up again this afternoon and we played for a little while before heading out to recycle some old food jars and also to buy the chips for Sam's Friday night treat. Sam wasn't looking forward to the crashing of breaking glass, so he chose to wear his ear defs, very cute! And thus home, tea, bath, bed. Where he is currently asleep, snoring quietly, hands behind his head, bobble hat on (it stops him having bad dreams, or so he claims)....get lots of rest tonight son, tomorrow we're off to the zoo! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveThe Most Inconvenient Convenience Store In The World
Source: Eddie2sox A few people down The Woolpack have remarked that the shop in this photo is absolutely useless....I couldn't possibly comment either way.... Word has it that this convenience store is a sadistic experiment in human behaviour and reactions, being run by the college across the road.
It is said that if you made a list of, say, three common items that you'd expect to find in a corner shop, if you visited this shop not only would you be unable to buy ANY of them, you would come out with three different items that you didn't want in the first place. You need milk, bread and washing up liquid. You come out with some shoe cleaning brushes, a tin of Cossack hair spray (past it's sell by date by more than a decade), and a Curly Wurly.
Like I said, this is mainly hearsay, however me and Sam did venture in there to purchase some emergency bread one day, and spent ten minutes searching high and low before Sam found it - in a shopping basket, on the floor, almost in the take-away section of the shop near the back. I reckon you're probably best giving it a miss and going to Tesco or Morrisons instead. To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveSalt And Vinegar World Cup
Source: Eddie2sox Salt and vinegar (S&V) crisps are undoubtedly the traditional blokey favourite flavour, and I will be putting myself through a punishing few days of intense competition to discover England's best S&V product The things I do for the sake of science!
This coming Sunday (22 April) sees the opening matches in the 2007 Salt & Vinegar World Cup (S&VWC).
Between now and then I will be gathering as many S&V products as possible, the draw for the first round will take place on Saturday, and the crisp products will do battle from Sunday onwards.
Matches will be decided on the basis of comparing: 1 - Crispness 2 - Flavour 3 - Size of crisp 4 - Aroma 5 - Packaging 6 - More-ish-ness (don't think that's a real word)
Early information from Ladbrokes shows that Walkers are the hot favourites: 8-11 Walkers S&V
Full List Of Participants As At 9 p.m., Wednesday 18 April:
Walkers Squares S&V, Discos S&V, The Real McCoys Ridge Cut S & Malt V, Morrisons S&V, Seabrook Seasalt &V, Walkers S&V, Snack A Jacks S&V, Kettle Chips Seasalt & Balsamic V, Tesco Crunchy Sticks S&V, Tesco Twirls S&V, Pringles S&V, Tesco Finest Seasalt & West Country Cider V, Tesco S&V, Walkers Baked S&V.
To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink above Baron Stewart Bwana-McTavish - An Apology
Source: Eddie2sox Following blog entries on 12 and 14 April 2007, I have been made aware of the distress caused by my choice of name of Baron Stewart Bwana-McTavish.... Eddie 2-Sox would like it to become known that Baron Stewart Bwana-McTavish will henceforth be known as Baron Stewart Bwana-McPhee.
My sincerest apologies to the McTavish clan for any offence caused..... To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveI Do Like Mondays
Source: Eddie2sox Bob Geldof got it completely wrong with his one and only hit. Mondays for me at the moment are relaxed and fun! I know that's outrageous, how can anyone possibly enjoy a Monday? But for me, I have the second cleaning job in the morning and the rest of the day to catch up with life, pay bills, go into town etc.
Today so far is a perfect example. I was up about half six and outside cleaning my windows again when the second cleaning job rang to see if I was coming in today. OF COURSE I am! I finished my cleaning at home, made a cuppa, then headed off to do the cleaning for pay. That went very well, the place looked and smelled delightful by the time I'd finished (even if I do say so myself). I also took down there two of my Norfolk Meatloaves, as they've been moaning about hearing of my cooking but never getting to taste it. So I guess that I'll get feedback on how it tastes later, one way or another. And I can't be doing a bad job there either - the boss bloke said I was doing an excellent job, which I took as p***-taking, and assumed it wasn't very good! However, seems it was genuine, as they have asked me to clean at their new business as well. Only problem is that it's 16 miles away......ALSO been asked to do the pub quiz there too, so my efforts at being Bamber Gascoigne can't be too crappy either I guess. Not sure what to do! I would like to take it on, but not sure WHEN I would be able to fit it in!
So, with the cleaning done I ambled home, did some admin stuff, filled in me car tax paperwork, and headed into town to post it. I dunno why more people don't do their car tax by post, it's so easy and your disk arrives back really quickly and direct to your letter box! Simple! When I was in town I also visited the toy shop to ask them to order the Lego fire station that Sam is going to buy himself, as they've sold the one we saw a while ago! Hopefully it will arrive by the weekend so Sam will be able to spend some of his savings and Grand National winning (he won £25 by the way).
Walked home the Norfolk Street/Gaywood Road way to pop into The Woolpack and tell them about the Norfolk meatloaf.....had a couple of beers with Les, Steve, and also Jay and Scottish who walked in looking VERY much the worse for wear - apparently last night/this morning was a stonker! The Woolie has a new quiz machine (YAAAAAAAAAY) so I invested £2 and ended up with £9, nice one! Didn't get a penny from the Bullseye game, but came up trumps on the Monopoly, which is one of my favourites. The leader board is starting to be filled with VERY random "winners" (i.e. ME) called Carlos, Lesley, Simone, Barry etc.....
And from there to the butcher's. But what's this, they have NO pigeons! Pigeon pie is on hold! No future pigeon deliveries expected, argh!
And so homeward for Diagnosis Murder and Deal Or No Deal. After that I'm going to pop BACK to The Woolie to try and catch Old Bob for a chat, and see if the meatloaf has been tasted yet.....
And from there it's home, and I have pizza for tea! Watch some "in one ear, out the other" telly, then to bed.
Geldof, you're wrong. I DO like Mondays! (For now at least). To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink abovePlan vs Reality - A Sunday Story
Source: Eddie2sox How often do you manage to achieve everything you set out to do in a day, or see the people you plan to? Does it EVER go according to the plan? Let's see!
The Plan
Washing up, clean the flat. Soundtrack of GLC, Kasabian & The Jam. Visit supermarket. Pop into pub for an hour on way home. Cooking pigeon pie, Norfolk meatloaf for myself and my critics, & salmon fishcakes for Sam. Watch Chelski v Blackburn FA Cup match (Chelsea are "away" lol). Early night.
The Reality - At Quarter Past Three
OK, washing up, yes, cleaning, sort of, yes (I can see out of my windows now), music, yes! Trip to Tesco, check. Pop round corner to butcher's shop (Bowers) yes - but they were shut. Which means that the pigeon pie is off the agenda today. Ho hum, I'll pop up there tomorrow to pay my pound apiece for the pigeons.
Did I pop into the pub? Yup. Read the paper, had two pints, luvverly. Then home for cooking. Four Norfolk Meatloaves are now cooking in the oven, I'm going to take a couple of them up to The Woolpack when I go to watch the football, to undertake a "taste test" survey. Sam's fishcakes will have to wait til tomorrow too, I didn't get any spring onions.
So. What's left on the plan? Chelski v Blackburn (Chelski away, sorry Letty ;) ). I have had a bet on this one! Well, two actually. First is for Chelski to win 2-0 with Lampard scoring first (£1 at 33/1). Second bet is just for Chelsea to win (£1 at 8/15). Second bet is just to cover the first one.
Hopefully some of the regulars will be down there for the game. I'll see YOU there too, first drink's on me!
The Reality - Monday Morning
Well the football was quite entertaining in the end, and we got a bonus 30 minutes for free. I was all excited when Lampard scored as I had a pound on a 2-0 Chelsea win with him scoring first....bloody Blackburn! I stayed on for a few convivial beers and the world was, as always, put to rights.
So, overall, I did stick to my plan....near enough anyway. Next plan? Make Dawn French leave Lenny Henry and move in with me! Do you think that one will work too?
Rovers Return Rovers - Champions!
If you remember I manage an online football team called Rovers Return Rovers. Well, my team has just won the league, with two games to spare! The game that really sealed it was a 6-3 win at home to Franklin Grizzly Cubs, with a Curly Watts hat-trick and goals from Albert Tatlock, Hilda Ogden and Raquel Wolstenholme. Curly also got booked for shirt pulling, and Hayley Cropper saw yellow for repeated diving! Sadly Betty Turpin broke her leg and will be out for 12 weeks.
So we won the division. Not only do we get promoted but we will receive 1000 in-game credits, which will enable me to ship out some of the dead wood in the squad (watch out Gail Tilsley, Alf Roberts and both Duckworths). Here are a few statistics from our season (one game to go remember):
Top scorers: Curly Watts - 99 goals (in 42 games) Gail Tilsley - 37 (27) Raquel Wolstenholme - 33 (38) Albert Tatlock - 30 (21)
Most Yellow Cards: 9 - Hayley Cropper, Mavis Riley 7 - Ken Barlow 5 - Fred Elliott
Roll on next season! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink aboveOur Weekend Was Good! Saturday....
Source: Eddie2sox Another fab day with a fab little boy... Normally Sam arrives in Daddy's bed at about half five. Today it were something like 1.46-ish. He wasn't really awake, so I let him go back to sleep in my bed. Hey, he's THREE, he won't always want to cuddle with his Daddy, so I'm making the most of it while I can! Slept til 6.....then game on, our day begins with both of us, literally, jumping put of bed.
Sam must have been hungry as he polished off two rounds of toast as soon as we got up, then had some Coco Pops a little later on. In between he cooked the knights of his castle some breakfast, gruesomely they had roast snake with grilled minotaur. Oh, and playdough pancakes (which SOME of the naughtier knights used as umbrellas, hats etc, how rude!). Hider In The House featured Charlie Dimmock as the hider this week, so it was extra interesting for Daddy. That woman STILL hasn't bought herself any bras you know, and she's been on telly for years now.....
We made a brief trip into town, to pay Sam's pig money into his bank account, which brings him up to £28 already. Hope he's really "getting" the whole saving-up idea now. On the way to town we took the Wizzer into the park, and it went extremely high AND very far too, it's one of the best "free on the front of a comic" toys I've seen. Sam also had fun running up and down and along, then up and down again, on the grassy bank that runs around the Tennyson Avenue side of the park....and then clambered up the muddy pile of soil along the side of the builder's yard (and fell down the other side face first, very dirty but uninjured).
Round about this time I became SURE that MY Grand National horse was fated to win. We bumped into the lovely Georgie who was out with her cute 1-year-old son JACK. My horse's name? Jack High (Jack! Hi! Geddit?). Not only that BUT we met them RIGHT outside the bowling club, and Jack High is a common bowling term. So logically there was only going to be one winner from that point. I also persuaded Georgie to have a bet on him, sorry mate!
Money paid in, toyshop visited to ogle the Lego (Sam is saving for this set), we legged it for home (via muddy bank in the park for a re-match). Once home we made Sam's picnic lunch while completing a couple more laps of the flat with the "Robert Power, Robert Power, we've got Robert Poooow-er" song. And then we were out on the road en route to Nana and Grandad's house. We saw LOTS of stock cars heading in the opposite direction, so there must be a big meet on somewhere this weekend. Maybe at Swaffham. As usual we had a lot of fun in Sleaford, and I think Nana and Grandad get a boost seeing Sam too. Grandad isn't quite fit enough yet to spend much time outside, but sits for five minutes watching Sam and Didi the dog playing. Didi's quite a fussy dog, and apparently a lot of the younger family kids won't go near her. Sam's not like that, a few visits ago we told him that he could tell Didi to get down, or go away etc, and he hasn't looked back since. They get on like best friends to be honest. This week we were on a deadline because we'd arranged to go to The Woolpack to watch the National, and all to soon it was time to get back in the car and journey back down the A17.
Sod's Law kicked in on the way home! The one week we couldn't afford any delays was the one week we got stopped at Sutton Bridge as a boat saild through the bridge, argh! Still, never mind, they look very calm and serene as they travel along the river there, and it's something a little different to see. Sam tried to persuade me to go to MacDonalds for tea (cheeky monkey), but he had MacDonalds with me last weekend, and he's had at least TWO MaccyD's with mummy this week, so NO WAY son. Nice try though!
With the race due to start at 4.15, we pulled into the car park at the flats at 4.14! We'd discussed whether to go to the pub or watch it at home, and decided that the pub would be more fun, even if we missed the start of the race. Legged it down the road, and thanks to the starter's incompetence the race hadn't even begun, hoorah! We got a prime seat right at the front of the packed bar and Sam watched his first Grand National. With people going a bit loopy all round, Sam was a little bit fazed by the whole thing, but towards the end of the race we spotted his horse with it's white spot in the middle of its face, and as the fences passed it looked more likely that Silver Birch might earn Sam some money with a top 3 finish. At one point the jockey looked back, which I took to mean that the horse was knackered and he was checking how far the rest of them were behind. But NO! He was checking how many of the more fancied horses were still going, as he felt Silver Birch at that point had a chance of winning.....over the last fence and the noise level was up to eleven, and Sam's horse was winning but looking tired. Two chasing horses never quite managed to catch up and Sam had won at the first attempt (that's your luck used up til you're 24 years old now son). Sam wanted to leave for home immediately as the whole experience was very different for him, but after about 15 seconds of being outside he was jumping about, cheering and generally celebrating his win, in a great burst of delayed-action euphoria. We headed home to watch the race again in peace and quiet.
Home. Busy busy busy. While Sam set up a caravan banger race in the living room I set about running his bath, cooking his tea, and re-packing all the stuff he brought over. In the bath, out the bath, caravans well and truly bashed up, You've Been Framed started and Sam started his hidden veg bolognaise.....
Back to mummy's then, reluctantly. On the way there a familiar face pulled up behind us at Southgates roundabout - it was Letty! Sam told his mummy all about the race then went off to see Grandma and Grandad who were visiting. Daddy went home and then back to The Woolpack to pick up Sam's winnings!
I stayed at the Woolie for 3 pints in the end. Baron Stewart Bwana-MacTavish was watching the FA Cup semi between Watford and manyoo, which went 3-1 at that moment. Had a bet that they'd end up with 5 or more goals, high stakes, 50! In the end manyoo got 4, so it's lucky I had a 50p coin in my pocket. It was a good job I went too, Ace Of Spades John gave me £20 for the Tweenies tickets a few weeks ago - I'd completely forgotten about that so it was a profitable evening for both Sam and his Daddy! To comment on, or report this post follow the permalink above |
