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Wednesday 8th August - Alone in the Crowd

Blog: Frustrated Businessman
Posted by: knightrider45 Wednesday 8th August 2007, 8:33am
Last edited 08/08/2007 8:33am by knightrider45

That's my second night from 8 over and done with then. Really really long night last night for some reason. Incredibly tired, all my joints are aching. The Black Moods are definately on their way back again.

And the unmitigated anger whilst I was on shift was, well, really suprising. In the space of an hour or so my emotions hit rock bottom without reason. One Hundred Percent anger, rapid heart beats and everything. Really difficult to hide when you're on shift and dealing with people!

Stupid brain! Why can't it just be normal?

And why, when this complaint is so common, and I UNDERSTAND it, can't it be controlled? This is why WE feel so alone in the crowd of thousands, if not millions, who also have this brain problem (I can't bring myself to say Mental problem, somehow).

Missing last months mortgage installment hasn't helped things either.

I'm putting it down the fact that I'm really tired and the fact that I ran out of the old anti depressants last week, only having the one tablet since Friday morning. These tablets only come in packs of 28, I can only afford one prescription per month, and the doctors being unable to prescribe two months worth together always means I run out for about a week every time.

My wife picked up this month's prescription yesterday though for me, so I'm hoping for a marked improvement in the next day or so.

Onto better things. I've applied for another job, this ones full time, wth an increase in pay, and I'm hoping to get either a letter or application form today.

And the other plus thing about last night, other than it being quiet, and rain-less, is that I've picked up another shift, this one's another extra night shift on Saturday 25th of this month.

This blog has again been typed out at work on my dinner break and saved onto flash drive for cutting and pasting here, as I'm up at about 1-ish today to start painting the bedroom ceiling.

And I'll just keep on keeping on - my target date for starting the 7 year countdown is the first of next month.

I'm putting all my hope, my faith, and my future in this new plan. Because something, somewhere, has got to give. Soon.

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