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Thursday 24th May - Life Goes On

Blog: Frustrated Businessman
Posted by: knightrider45 Thursday 24th May 2007, 4:24pm

There's definately a kind of hush in our house at the moment after the bombshell dropped on me Tuesday by the doctor.

But, two days later, I've had time to think, and readjust. And, perhaps most of all, research.

I am not belittling anything here whatsoever, but I've gone over the doctors conversation, time and time again. What I remember her saying is that I had a small shadow on my last xray, last year sometime as part of my MOT (I make it a rule to have a full MOT, xrays, bloodtests, every year now because of my inheritance).

The shadow was then insignificant, so I didn't have to be told. This year, it's just simply the fact that the same shadow has grown slightly, which is why they want to investigate further.

Researching shows that I don't have any symptoms of the Big C, like weight loss, funny coughs, blood leaking etc, so, on those grounds, I'm putting bad thoughts out of mind. I don't know how long the shadows been there; last year was my first ever xray, but it's obviously been there some time. So, if it was bad, I'd surely have had some symptoms by now, wouldn't I, surely?

So, I'm hoping it's something like astma (I'm sure there's an h in there somewhere), a chest infection, or some scar damage from when I've breathed in stomach acid when I've woken up in the middle of the night choking on it.

But,on the positive side, I'm taking this as a wake up call, so I'm giving up the fags. Don't want to go through this s*it again.

I wasn't going to say anything to the kids until after the scans, but my wife has told the eldest two. The First Little Girl and The Teenage One haven't been told yet. But, there is a big black cloud over our house at the moment.

And I'd never get life insurance at the moment to put things right if it turns out to be something bad. I know the desperate man does win sometimes. Hopefully now, it's my turn to win.

Paul

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