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Norfolk Resident - Caravans Go Home

Blog: Frustrated Businessman
Posted by: knightrider45 Monday 30th June 2008, 8:07am

Once again I have to report that my basic European Right to a free and unhindered life has again been compromised by the tin can on wheels owners.

Again I set out for work early, and again I arrived at work late. Why do we tolerate such a public menace?

Last night for instance I was the 9th car stuck behind one of ......these,...... these, people. Doing 37mph in a 60 mph zone.And because we only have single lane roads around here, I couldn't overtake it safely. So I had to follow it. For miles and miles, despite the road in front of it being clear for as far as the eye could see.

But I did use the enforced entrapment time usefully. I thought I might lower my normal high standards and write to Prime Minister Gordon Brown and highlight his tax income oversight to him.As we know, Labour are always open to new tax income ideas.

And this is what I'd suggest:

Firstly, that caravans are treated the same as they are in America, Canada, Europe and Austrailia. We'll reclassify them as trailers. Because in the rest of the world, trailers are taxed separately, and in addition to, the towing vehicle.

We'll split the trailer group of vehicles into two sections: beneficial and non beneficial. Beneficial trailers such as lorries and all other commercials will be exempt from taxation, except if they're used, even once, in caravan manufacturing industry, when they'll be subject to double the non beneficial trailer taxation rate, for life. Other Beneficial Trailers, such as those used for keeping the nation stocked up with food and fuel and keeping industry going will never be taxed.

Non Beneficial Trailers, such as the tin can on wheels, boat trailers and horse boxes will be subject to a separate road tax. Of, say, £2,500 per year.

Complete with enforced quarterly MOT tests costing at least £250.00 each.

And we'll bring in the new Trailer Law, prohibiting these trailers from all roads from 6am to 9pm daily. Owners who break this law will be subject to immediate imprisonment, and the trailers scrapped, crushed and the metal sold to the highest bidder, with all proceeds going direct to the NSPCC to give some kids a brighter future.

Any non beneficial trailer over 2 years of age will automatically be scrapped, again with the funds going straight to the NSPCC.

All non beneficial trailers will have to comply with extra stringent safety factors, as they cause a lot of accidents, and we'll make these new standards a flat cost of something like £5,000, again with the proceeds' profits going direct to the NSPCC

Anyone concerned with the distribution or sales of non beneficial trailers will undergo psychotherapy with the intention of eventual re-integration into Society.

And anyone involved in the actual manufacturing process of non essential trailers will be seconded to a more useful job to serve the nation by making toilet rolls, because toilet rolls are more useful to the country than the non beneficial trailers.

And, finally, I'm thinking of forming a campaign group to push these improvements through, and I thought of calling it the Citizens Against Caravans, CAC for short, reminds you of caravans, doesn't it?

I think it's a really good idea, because one of the country's most important charities will benefit, as will every single road user in this great country of ours. Gordon Brown, watch out for my letter.

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