Posted in February 2008

Monday 25th February – It's Good News Week

Source: knightrider45
Monday 25th February 2008, 9:19am

That's a sarcastic heading if ever I saw one!

So, that's another week gone by then. First off, my black moods have come back and I'm sunk, hopefully going to be able to get to see my doctor later today. The Mood has got really bad over the last three or four days for some reason.

Everything's too much effort, I don't want to do anything, but I don't want to sit and do nothing either. Headaches are haunting me like crazy. I don't want human contact but at work last night, it seemed as if everyone wanted to talk to me everywhere I went - not the ideal thing is it? I don't want to go out, for any reason, seemingly for ever at the moment.

The TerrorGate Scandal at work has, as predicted, died a silent death. When that ANC van rushed past me I thought that that alone would seal the fate of the old ways, born of the 1930's. But no, it seems as if "it's just one of them things" and, now the shouting and Major Procedures have died down, the importance of the whole thing has, well, just gone with it. Pathetic.

I've starting setting up my ebay shop to run alongside my web site, and by Wednesday last week, I'd sold £700 worth of laptops. Apparently. Two were brought by someone in Nigeria, and the third one was brought by someone in Germany, who wanted it shipping out to his sister in - guess where? Yes, you got it - Nigeria.

These scrotes obviously think I'm thick. I've reported them to ebay - and paypal - and their ebay accounts have been suspended. Problem is though, as soon as fake bids are received, the ebay auction closes down, as it thinks the items have been sold. That cost me almost a tenner - and ebay replied to my complaint yesterday saying that they're not crediting me with the insertion fees although the auctions were closed by fraudulent bids. That's a tenner in smoke for nothing. I just hope these Nigerian scammers (not the word I would have originally used!) die a long slow painful and lingering death somewhere.

The neighbour's fence dispute has escalated in that he's now brought the land we were using so I've got to clear all our rubbish off it, as soon as, because he want's to fence his "New" land. That's an extra day's work for me as a result.So I'm in the garden tomorrow. Thanks Neighbour.

I've done that budget last week as well - see, I said I would! But it's already blown out the water because I've had loads of bills this week. On the budget, I need to bank £66 per day, 365 days a year, which means I've got to earn £100 a day, forever. This £36,500 I need to earn this year is nothing to do with debt though - apart from the mortgage - it includes literally everything I can think of for the house and business - and that's only just treading water, breaking even and standing exactly where I am now.. And as I only earn £20-21, 000 with (lots of) overtime, you can see my problem straight away can't you?

Oh, and last weeks bills - here they are:

Heating Oil - £250/Telephone Bill £230/Poll Tax (missed last months payment) £200/ Electricity bill £138 installment (Missed two months). Everyone's pushing me for money again,so it's got to be paid. That means I've got to find an extra £818 next payday.

Guess I'll just keep on keeping on then.

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Thursday 21st February - Here we go (again)

Source: knightrider45
Thursday 21st February 2008, 11:29am

Okay, as predicted, that crappy, outdated work procedure has struck again - yet another drive through - on MY shift this time.

I seem to be getting the pooh hiting the air extraction unit from all directions at the moment!

Here we go. First off - that drive through. Now I'm not going to mention the firms name here, in case you think it's ANC, (oops), but - it happened again.

This silly man, who's never been to my work place before (isn't he lucky?) drove straight through the checking area, again, having tailgated a lorry in.

Again, he was found almost at the rear of the works, without the statutory protection equipment, and breaking all the rules. Again.

Major alert. Phoned my line manager immediately after I had receioved the phone call reporting the driver, who went ballistic, saying that all this crap had got to stop.

Fine. I took the opportunity to remind him that renewed, proper procedures were drawn up by myself four or five months ago and were waiting for him to implement.

The thing is, you see, we don't check the regular vans, companies or drivers. They're just let through and left to their own devices. The procedures used at work say that this is how it's done, and we TRUST drivers who don't know what they're doing to stop and ask.

Back to the phone call, or to be correct, 15 minutes after the phone call, when my line manager came to see me. Having had a few minutes to think about things, he said that he'd have a word with who reported the van man and ask him to keep it quiet.

As simple as that. But I don't want it hushed up or swept under the carpet, I want it shouted about because this incident alone, would show the procedures up for what they really are. Totally ineffective rubbish. But my manager doesn't want procedures changing. He doesn't want the hassle.

So we're, or rather I, have to cope with the aftermath. The other men in the department, as previously said, have severe problems getting up off their chairs. And they're not bothered, just putting it down to "just one of those things".

And it's really infuriating!

The only reason why this wasn't a full blown terrorist alert was because the van was marked up and the company is one of our regular deliveries, unlike last week when the van driver was in a plain white van.

Doesn't it just stink? So if you want to blow up my workplace, just turn up in one of the big names delivery vans. It's simple. You won't be checked out. It's procedure you see.

Onto other things, very quickly. the heating oil AGAIN ran out 6am this morning - one quarters oil has lasted just 5 weeks and 6 days. The wife, who has been in a bit of a mood for the last two months or so, has really accelerated her bad mood as a result. We're almost not talking.

Crap at work. Crap at home. Guess why I'm fed up?

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Tuesday 19th February - Meeting Update.

Source: knightrider45
Tuesday 19th February 2008, 9:58pm

I still wasn't told what the outcome of The Major Incident Meeting was.

So, today, I asked my line manager when we were on our own.

Result?

"Everyone's calmed down." There was no other comment.

So, as I predicted, nothing's going to happen. Nothings going to change, least of all working practices and attitudes. We shall keep on working with the system that was formulated in about the 1930's which has let the team down so many times.

Well, it keeps the peace and saves rocking the boat doesn't it? Even if it was a full blown terrorist alert.

That's as may be.

But the outcome won't quite be the same if something like this happens when I'm on shift. That's guaranteed - but obviously, working above and beyond the procedures set in place, in concrete, will hopefully ensure incidents like this won't happen on my shifts.

There's nothing else to say really, is there?

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Mon 18th February Part 2 - The Meeting

Source: knightrider45
Monday 18th February 2008, 10:20pm

Absolutely nothing. You just wouldn't credit it would you?

After all the big words, big actions and everything...............nothing's happened.

At all.

And to be honest, I don't even know if the meeting actually happened. No one's said anything to me at all.

Isn't it just a crazy waste of time? But, I intend asking questions directly tomorrow and see what I can find out. If anything. But at the moment, as I predicted, the internal politics have kicked in, and the Scandal has been swept under the carpet.

Stay tuned, I'll update tomorrow, whether I find anything out or not.

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Monday 18th February - Big Meeting Day

Source: knightrider45
Monday 18th February 2008, 6:08am

Thanks for your commets over the weekend Myriad Life - you are so correct. And today is the day of The Big Meeting to determine the outcome of the Scandal, and the management's solutions.

And guess who's on days? Yes - it's me.

So, I'm expecting to take severe flack today at about ten O'clock once the meeting finishes.

Roll on 7 O'clock tonight when the days over. I'll let you know what happens.

Paul

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Friday 15th February - St Valentines Day Massacre Mk II

Source: knightrider45
Friday 15th February 2008, 5:43pm

There's been a major incident at work. People have started to say the "T" word- Terrorism.

I work on a fairly large complex, and part of our job involves the controlling of traffic. Some times it gets really busy, stressful, and frantic.

Earlier this week, one of my colleagues on days had a van tailgate a lorry into the site, drive around the lorry that had stopped to be checked in, and carried on driving around the site.

Until he was seen by a manager - and the driver was breaking all the rules at the time, including talking on his mobile phone - in an explosive atmosphere.

the s*it has hit the air extraction unit. A hell of a lot. There has been one major meeting this week, and there's another one scheduled for 9am Monday with my line manager.

We have all been branded a waste of space. But, what gets my back up more than anything from all this, is that, besides being blown out of all proportion, the incident itself could have been avoided.

If only the men I work with would stop being traffic clerks and do the job properly - but that involves movement away from their chairs. But, I've said this before. And nothing's been done.

And I doubt anything will be done this time, once all the shouting's died down.

The van driver could have been a terrorist - that much is true. But the men I work with are all totally innocent of life, despite all of them being in their late 50's and early 60's. Just because nothing's ever happened to them, they think nothing ever will.

And that attitude is just so dangerous - especially given today's troubles and the job we are paid to, supposedly, do.

But I can't do anything. Certainly without telling a few home truths and, being as old fashioned as I am, you don't drop your mates in it. Ever.

And, if you've seen the sheer violence and crime that I've seen,and been involved in, you'll know the atmosphere of innocence I am forced to work in is dangerous.

I'd like to say I'm looking for another job - I certainly feel like doing so - but, if I change my job now, the chances of remortgaging at the end of this year will be slim to non existent.

Ah well, guess I'll just keep on keeping on. But, can you understand why I'm totally peed off?

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Tuesday 12th February - Looking for answers, but finding questions.

Source: knightrider45
Tuesday 12th February 2008, 8:30am

I'm determined to make sure I stay above the dark depths of my mood as it's started to change again, so I've done a bit of research myself!(As well as upping the old anti depressants of course. (Ssssshhhhhh! - I'm supposed to be coming off them!)

I've managed to put a couple of hours together after my blog last night to go through my collection of pyschological CD's so I could give myself some "therapy" rather than having to go to the doctors one week day afternoon for a few weeks, or months.

And I found a book. This book gives explanations and reasons, as well as coping strategies using a quiz format, so I thought it could be useful for other people who may have some kind of stress disorder. (There's lots of us out there by the way).

Okay, then - Ready? See how many of these questions you answer Yes to. The one condition before answering YES is that the particular question/subject must have applied to you for the last two weeks, without a break. And don't cheat by looking at the meanings before you answer the questions!

Okay - try these first.

1. Do you find yourself constantly sad?

2. Are you un-motivated to do simple things like shower, clean up the house, or make dinner?

3. Do people tell you you're overly irritable?

4. Do you have trouble concentrating?

5. Are you feeling isolated from family and friends even when they are around you?

6. Have you lost interest in your favourite activities?

7. Do you feel hopeless, worthless, or guilty for no reason at all?

8. Are you always tired and have trouble sleeping?

9. Has your weight fluctuated significantly?

The book says: "If you can answer "Yes" to five or more of these questions, you could be suffering from clinical depression. It is important for you to seek out the help of a medical professional whether that be a doctor or a therapist. There are many medications out there that can help with depression."

And the second set:

1. Do you worry constantly and battle with negative selftalk?

2. Do you have difficulty concentrating?

3. Do you get mad and react easily?

4. Do you have recurring neck or headaches?

5. Do you grind your teeth?

6. Do you frequently feel overwhelmed, anxious or depressed?

7. Do you feed your stress with unhealthy habits-eating or drinking excessively, smoking, arguing, or avoiding yourself and life in other ways?

8. Do small pleasures fail to satisfy you?

9. Do you experience flashes of anger over a minor problem?

And the book says this time:

"If you can answer "Yes" to most of these questions, then you do have excessive stress in your life."

This is the third, and final set, of questions:

1. Do you experience shortness of breath, heart palpitations or shaking while at rest?

2. Do you have a fear of losing control or going crazy?

3. Do you avoid social situations because of fear?

4. Do you have fears of specific objects?

5. Do you fear that you will be in a place or situation from which you cannot escape?

6. Do you feel afraid of leaving your home?

7. Do you have recurrent thoughts or images that refuse to go away?

8. Do you feel compelled to perform certain activities repeatedly?

9. Do you persistently relive an upsetting event from the past?

The book says: "Answering "Yes" to more than four of these questions can indicate an anxiety disorder.

Suffering from depression, too much stress, or excessive anxiety can endanger your overall health and it's time to take steps to overcome this - RIGHT NOW!"

And yes, there's no prizes here for guessing most of the last 9 questions definitely apply to me! I think, if you were to go back through my blog since it started, you'll find I've spoken about most of these things at one time or another.

And it takes just one book, amongst thousands, to actually put me, or rather, my behaviour, together. Ah well, I know it's not just me now then don't I? Almost 18 months of blogs - summed up by 27 questions!! And, now, I know I'm "normal", well, for the condition anyway. And you know I'm not talking myself into trying to fit the description - it's definitely a case of the description fitting me.

So, to start correcting this, I'm definitely doing THAT budget I was talking about in yesterday's blog, and after that, I'll start making definite plans to meet the shortfall- both in finance and my life. Here we go.

Facing the fear - but still doing it anyway!

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Monday 11th February - Busy, Frustrating Day

Source: knightrider45
Monday 11th February 2008, 5:50pm

The day has, once again sped past me in a blur.

I woke up this morning with a plan of action to get things sorted out today, but, once again, I haven't done much, and what I have done has taken ages to do.

So Frustrated!

I wanted to start advertising today again, but with running out of time, I'm having to put this off until Friday (hopefully - if nothing else happens in the meantime to slow me down even more.)

Onto other things. The dog has gone back home, being collected by Middle Daughter on Friday night/Saturday morning at half past midnight. The house is geting back to normal and the cat is busy reclaiming her territory back.

I waited up until quarter to midnight for her, but there was an accident on her way back, making her late. Having gone to bed, and being woken up three quarters of an hour afterwards, then fighting to get back to sleep made me really tired through Saturday's day shift - I'm glad that day's over because I was fighting to stay awake at 11am - and that was just 5 hours into a 12 hour shift!

But haven't we had beautiful spring weather over the weekend?

It's just a shame that that beautiful weather conflicts with my mood at the moment, which started to take a turn to the black side again on Saturday. I'm fighting myself now because I need to do our budget for this year - but it frightens me to do it, because the shortfall in writing, at this precise moment in time, is something I feel unable to cope with and I just don't want to see it.

Again.

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Be My (Politically Correct) Valentine

Source: knightrider45
Friday 8th February 2008, 3:13pm

Political correctness is going crazy in this country.

As valentine's cards are now viewed by some people as Sexual Harrassment under the Human Rights Act and British firms have been warned by a legal advisory council that unwanted cards could land them in an industrial tribunal.

To counteract future claims, a political correct valentine's card is now available.

The front of the card depicts a sinle red heart, surrounded by cupids of every gender, race, religion, marital status and relationship type.

So, there is a single mum with a pram cupid, a chav cupid, Orthodox Jew Cupid, naturalist cupid, albino cupid, and even Siamese Sikh cupids.

The message inside says:

"Please accept with no obligation my non-sexually harrassing, potentially platonic Valentine's regard as a token of my/our love, lust or friendship within a relationship that we may or may not choose to be monogamous, whilst understanding that the romantic sentiment that it signifies does in no way guarantee the success or progression of the said relationship over any length of time. The sender reserves the right to stay anonymous."

Still feeling romantic then??

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Thursday 7th February - Its a crazy madhouse here

Source: knightrider45
Thursday 7th February 2008, 6:01am

Just getting ready for another 12 hour dayshift and the night here at the Houshold has been crazy

The ongoing battle for dominance between cat and dog is still ongoing. I thought the cat had packed up and left home yesterday as I couldn't find her all day - but she hadn't, she'd been hidden in the son's bedroom yesterday morning by the House manager before she'd left for work.

The dog, for the last couple of nights, has noticed the cat has vanquished her place in our bedroom as she obviously doesn't consider it safe enough. The dog, normally being shooed out of this cat's domain by either me or the wife, now waits until we're asleep before diving on the bed, waking us both up with a start.

The cat, on keeping out of the dogs way,now walks around the house above ground level, so ornaments, books etc are knocked off shelves as she makes her precarious way around her self imposed assault course.

Except for when the dog has landed on the bed. The cat's favourite trick here is to sit in the doorway, until she's noticed by the dog, who will then start a massive barking session at various stages through the night.

I have to put the dog out to feed the cat, then reverse it to feed the dog - and this was at five o'clock this morning.

I'm sure I can hear the cat giggling you know..................

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Monday 4th February - Manliness Compromised

Source: knightrider45
Monday 4th February 2008, 1:44pm

As she went out to work this morning, my manager gave me strict instructions that I was to take Middle Daughter's dog out for walkies.

So, the plan was made - I'd take the dog out at about half eleven when the cat wakes up. Simple. I would feed the cat, then walk the dog so they'd be out of each other's way which meant the cat could eat in peace without the dog trying to get her food.

The cat slept in - or, at least I think she did, as the first I saw of her, or rather heard, was the rapidly becoming familiar battle.

The dog and cat had met outside the bedroom door as the cat attempted to get her breakfast.

An immediate rescue operation was launched, the cat being retrieved from under the bedroom chair, eventually, and I carried her into the kitchen, collecting the dog's lead en route, fed the cat and put the dog's lead on her at the same time, then took her for a walk to leave the cat in peace.

Now, I'm a proper man's man. I have no objection to taking a dog for a walk.

But, it has to be a "proper" dog, like a German Shepard. Not this terrier type thing I've ended up with. A naturally scruffy, totally disobedient little thing, which, being owned by the daughter, comes complete with a Pink dog lead.

Pink. complete with flourescent pink and white squares. No prizes, then, for guessing why I kept off all main roads, and hid in bushes when ever someone went by!!

And, when we got back, the cat's nowhere to be seen, and, after an unatural silence I realised the dog wasn't anywhere around.

I found her in our bed, half under the quilt, with the pillow over her face. And it was on my side of the bed as well.

Isn't it amazing what a grown man will do for his daughter?

Onto other things. The web site is totally finished. at last. Almost 2,000 pages have been redesigned, and, at a rough guess, there's about 12,000 Paypal buttons that have been reprogrammed.

No wonder it took me four months to get everything done!!

I'm tying up the loose ends now, and I'll be advertising, for the first time, on Friday. Here we go!!

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Saturday 2nd-Sun 3rd February - 1 day, 2 mistakes.

Source: knightrider45
Sunday 3rd February 2008, 8:03am

Ever had one of those days?

The first mistake of mine involved the family cat. Regular readers will know that we are looking after Middle Daughter's dog at the moment, and the cat has taken great exception to this invader in her territory.

When I got home Saturday morning after a nightshift, the cat was still in our bedroom. So I advised my household manager just to leave her in there, as she normally sleeps until 11.30, and I'd leave the door open so she could go out when she did wake up.

As luck would have it, me getting into bed woke the cat up. The cat, having found that she had me all to herself for a change, decided it was time to play.

It took me ages to get to sleep as she was enjoying her new found company. Then she woke me up at quarter to nine, and again at five to ten.

At ten O'clock, she was "forcibly removed from the premises" by the wife. Which started the dog off barking. And the cat Yowling. It must have taken about 20 minutes for it all to settle down again.

Marvellous.

Bearing in mind we'd had a battle of wills the day before between the cat and dog over a mouse that the cat had caught and killed. And ended up being fought over by both the cat and dog, each of who,on sucessfully retrieving the poor mouse from the other, would proceed to hide it. This also involved a session of barking and yowling in the back garden.

And the dog won't eat it's food left here by Middle Daughter - but it loves the cat's food. Ah well.......

Anyway mistake number 2, which wasn't really mine, but..........

On getting to work last night, the shift was already covered by another one of my colleagues, who was already there. So when I got to work, there were three butch, hairy men in a small confined space where, normally there's only one.

What had happened was that the rota had been changed when I was on my Christmas Holiday last week, because one of the boys has to go on a first aid course (We are all first responders as part of our job) and this change had affected the whole month's rota.

But no one had bothered telling me.

So, rather than waste two hours(ish) travelling time, and the £6.00 petrol, I stayed the night and my (extra) colleague went back home, as he only lives minutes away from work - at that time on a Saturday night it takes me almost an hour, either way. So that choice was obvious really.

Anyway, I'm off tonight (Sunday). Unexpected bonus.

And that's about it really - another hectic day in my life!

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Saturday 2nd February – Snow, Meet The Dog, and Ode to C.

Source: knightrider45
Saturday 2nd February 2008, 3:45pm

Ha! Snow joke then is it? Did you see any snow? I know it didn't snow in Kings Lynn last night.

But it was teeming it down with snow last night when I left home at 6.15 to go to work. Fakenham had it's share of snow, that I do know. In fact, it snowed heavily and continiously until I got to Hillington, when it turned to sleet, and then when I drove past Gaywood that sleet turned to rain. So, unless it's snowed through the night after I've written this out, Kings Lynn missed out.

But it stayed really cold and wet last night though as I was walking alongside the River Ouse - that wasn't nice at all.

The second thing for Friday into Saturday is that we've inherited Middle Daughter's dog for a week as she and her boyfriend have flown out to Tenerife for a holiday. The dog is a Tibetan Terrier, all £600's worth and I think she's now close to 12 months old. She's like the one in the Google photo, attached. And she's totally disobediant and ignores every command.

Our cat and the dog have already met on several occasions, and they don't get on together very well at all. The dog is curious and, I think, wants to play. Our cat, on the other hand, is very defensive and doesn't like the dog being here at all. The cat stayed in The Teenage One's bedroom yesterday until we got her out at about four O'clock and we now have to keep rescuing her, not so much from the dog itself, but from hurting the dog. The cat is not happy with the dog being in her territory at all, but she can sort of tolerate it if she's on my wife's lap, safe, and not alone with the dog. I'm sure they'll be adventures to tell over the next few days.

And finally, (now I sound like Trevor Macdonald!), it's back to work. The atmosphere in the office is still tense, for want of a better word, and the rest of the guys I work with have decided (?) to let things lie with the management, until they are formally, and finally, instructed to action my suggestions.

So, I'm still the black sheep at work at the moment. I know the boys don't have my experience, and although being several years older than me, they have the "Nothing like that's ever happened here, and therefore never will"attitude which really grates me. So, we wait and see.

But I think they'll be a big blow up next time something happens. But it's up to them. Anyway, onto the real reason for writing about work.

C. is a cleaner where I work. She is an articulate, superbly intelligent, 66 year old woman who's been through a lot in her life. She retired yesterday, and has said that she's never going back to where we work again, even socially. So I won't see her again.

Over the past 18 months or so, we've put the world to rights many times on her way out when I've been on nights over a cup of tea. I shall miss our chats, but most of all, I will miss C. , the person. Goodbye and good luck C. Enjoy your new found freedom, you lucky person!!

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Friday 1st February - Politics,Politics, and Politics

Source: knightrider45
Friday 1st February 2008, 7:59am

I'm back at work and have walked straight into a battle of wills , and, unfortunately, I'm the odd one out in the team (again).

Now, I know it's wrong to talk like this, as the other team members cannot defend themselves, owing to the fact, mainly, that they don't know about my blogs, but see what you think anyway.

But, this is what's happening at work, time and time and time again, and I'm really getting sick of it. Basically, what happens is this: I and my colleagues are responsible for making sure all lorry drivers and visitors at work wear their proper protection equipment. This involves getting the drivers or visitors to read a short rule list, part of which states they must wear their equipment. They are then allowed to go into the main works area to do whatever they've come to do.

So, the visitors and drivers go off into the works. The problems start because some people just don't like wearing all the protective gear.I understand that. But I and my colleagues keep being reported to management because visitors keep being caught not wearing the gear. And when these people are asked as to why they're not wearing their gear they say that they hadn't been told about it.

It makes me and my colleagues out to be incompetant liars. And I hate it.

So, I've made a suggestion - or rather, offered a solution as part of one of my (defence) reports - we get all drivers & visitors to sign a copy of the rule list before they go into the works. We then file this sheet of paper - for 12 months or so.

Isn't that simple? The team are covered, because if we get a complaint about us made to management all we say is "He signed a form that said he'd read and understood the rules." And we're covered.

Simple. But you wouldn't believe all the animosity I've run up against as a result of this suggestion. Just what is it with old(er) men and new ways? Perhaps you can't teach an old dog new tricks after all.

My management at work have sanctioned this suggestion - but my work mates,almost, hate me for making the suggestion. Now, I'm caught in the middle.

20 years in this job has taught me never to trust strangers. We will always have visitors breaking the rules. But my line of thinking is, if they do, it's at their own risk - they've signed a form saying I've done my job. And that's good enough for me. But try explaining this to colleagues who haven't done the job before!

So, when I get another ear bashing - I had two yesterday - and I'm going to get more, guaranteed, I'm going to ask for a meeting with all the team and the management. Together.

And I'll get this thing sorted out. Once and for all.

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