Attempted Suicide - One Week On

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It's been a fast moving week for all concerned. I eventually got it out of the wife that it was me who was to blame for her unhappiness, I think it took until Monday for her to tell me. Fine, that's all I wanted to know.

13th June 2010

The Wifes Just Tried To Commit Suicide

So, am I really that bad then?

5th June 2010

Things Must Change - Starting Today

I awake every day in despair, extreme doom, tinged with high anxiety. Combined now as it is with a mixture of debt chasing telephone calls, mortgage arrears counsellors and various other debt chasing people, there is no respite.

17th May 2010

Need Motivation At This VERY Moment? For When Things Keep Going Wrong

Do you know what we all have in common? You know, the billions and billions who came before you, who used to live in the jungles of time and space. Their adventure is over. You know what else?

20th March 2010

Making Progress - Up And Down

The shift change at work has happened, and the department I work in has now been reduced from 5 members to just 2, of which I'm one of them. One of my colleagues has retired, rather than face signing on, and the other two have been laid off.

31st January 2010

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Attempted Suicide - One Week On

Blog: Break Up
Posted by: Sunday 13th June 2010, 8:57pm

There followed a fury of phone calls as I arranged viewings for alternative accommodation (sp?). Whilst ringing someone on Tuesday to arrange a viewing, she came back in after the shopping and said that she'd reconsidered and it was best I stay, as we couldn't afford to move out.

We are now living as Brother and Sister. She says she doesn't hate or despise me, but she doesn't love me. I can live with that, for the time being anyway. The urgency has now disappeared and I, for one, am grateful I'm keeping the house, if only because of the problems with, and I sorted out with, the mortgage as well as all the hard work I've done in the house and especially this year, the work in the garden.

I just didn't want to throw it all away after 18 years of constant struggle and cash flow crisis.

She also tells me that she doesn't want a divorce (\"it's you talking about a divorce\") - but, I strongly suspect, this is due to the fact that she can't afford to move out, and she also wants to keep the house.

I still feel the stranger in my own house and with my family. Where we go from here, I don't know. Or how long this arrangement will stay satisfactory. As far as I'm concerned, I've been given permission to move on. Sharing my life with someone else is the one thing I'm never going to do again.

Ever.

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Attempted Suicide - One Week On

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