Posted in June 2010

Attempted Suicide - One Week On

Source:
Sunday 13th June 2010, 8:57pm

It's been a fast moving week for all concerned. I eventually got it out of the wife that it was me who was to blame for her unhappiness, I think it took until Monday for her to tell me. Fine, that's all I wanted to know.

There followed a fury of phone calls as I arranged viewings for alternative accommodation (sp?). Whilst ringing someone on Tuesday to arrange a viewing, she came back in after the shopping and said that she'd reconsidered and it was best I stay, as we couldn't afford to move out.

We are now living as Brother and Sister. She says she doesn't hate or despise me, but she doesn't love me. I can live with that, for the time being anyway. The urgency has now disappeared and I, for one, am grateful I'm keeping the house, if only because of the problems with, and I sorted out with, the mortgage as well as all the hard work I've done in the house and especially this year, the work in the garden.

I just didn't want to throw it all away after 18 years of constant struggle and cash flow crisis.

She also tells me that she doesn't want a divorce ("it's you talking about a divorce") - but, I strongly suspect, this is due to the fact that she can't afford to move out, and she also wants to keep the house.

I still feel the stranger in my own house and with my family. Where we go from here, I don't know. Or how long this arrangement will stay satisfactory. As far as I'm concerned, I've been given permission to move on. Sharing my life with someone else is the one thing I'm never going to do again.

Ever.

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The Wifes Just Tried To Commit Suicide

Source:
Saturday 5th June 2010, 1:40pm

So, am I really that bad then?

Woke up early this morning, went into the front room where my wife was watching television. I said 'Morning', was promptly ignored, as I always am these days, and that's when I wrote my last post on my blog.

As I was writing it, I heard the front door shut and thought nothing of it. The wife never tells me when she's going out, where she's going or how long she's going to be out for. Nothing unusual there.

She'd been gone ages. Then a neighbour came across. The wife had taken loads of tablets, then gone for a walk to save dying in front of me, I guess. As she got to the woods about half mile from where we live, she, apparently, had a change of mind and rang our neighbour, who found her, and took her to his house and called the ambulance.

She refused to go to hospital and is, at the moment, sleeping off the tablets in my neighbour's spare bed.

And that, basically, is all I know. I've booked Monday and Tuesday off work to sort things out. I'm either sorting things out with the wife, or sorting my things out to move out. And, at this point, I don't really care which it is.

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